Quote of the Day, Cr*p Tree edition.

This year I couldn’t find the Drunken Office Party Elves. My wife says she has no idea what happened to them. She says it in a way that makes me think she knows exactly what happened to them, and I will never see them again.

Innocent Bystanders, on the war between what they call the ‘white lights’ Christmas people and the ‘colored lights’ Christmas people. Fortunately, both my wife and I are ‘colored lights’ sort of folks. That’s fortunately for me, because of course I would lose this particular argument if we were going to have it.