Please note for the record that bacon is a metaphysical concept as it is a god among foodstuffs. I mention this because people have asked, Why is there turkey bacon? To which I reply, Because of the First Amendment. Turkey bacon allows those of us whose dietary and/or religious restrictions to nonetheless symbolically tap into the ur-bacon, the Collective Bacon Gestalt, the Baconic Continuum that unites and unifies our culture; to ban such a substance is thus to arguably to discourage the free practice of religions that may not directly partake of bacon. And, of course, Congress is strictly enjoined from passing laws restricting the free practice of religion.