So, you’re thinking: ‘Just how bad WILL the Fantastic Four reboot be?’

And you look at this, and you think that you know.

And then you look at this, and you think that you know.

“He’s Victor Domashev, not Victor Von Doom in our story,” says Kebbel. “The Doom in ours—I’m a programmer.  Very anti-social programmer.  And on blogging sites I’m ‘Doom.’”

And then you look even more at this, and you think that you know.

It’s a strange take, but one that’s very much aligned with what Kebbel calls the very “realistic”[*] and “lo-fi” vision that director Josh Trank is bringing to the franchise.

But the true horror will only be found on the Wikipedia page. It’s… subtle; mostly, you have to be capable of recognizing the distinctive olfactory spoor of ingrained failure and doom. Superhero movie fans are quite familiar with the scent, although admittedly not as much as we used to.

BTW, this isn’t nerdrage.  I am filled with a terrible pity towards this production.  Careers will shatter upon this rock of failure…

Moe Lane

PS: Watch.  Now it’ll end up getting an Oscar.

*This movie is about an elastic man, an invisible woman, someone who can set himself on fire and fly, and a walking rock.

18 thoughts on “So, you’re thinking: ‘Just how bad WILL the Fantastic Four reboot be?’”

  1. could it be worse than daredevil? ghost rider? Howard the duck? give it a chance. open your mind, Moe 🙂

  2. What fresh new hell is this? Why isn’t anyone stopping these people? I wish those studios would just give those titles back to Marvel. Or for goodness sake, Marvel should make a bid for them back.
    .
    The only bad movie Marvel made, was Iron Man 2. Then they realized that they messed up and made a smashing Iron Man 3. They have done little wrong since and Avengers 2 looks epic.

    1. I’m told that Marvel is getting the Fantastic Four back, but not before this movie burns down the franchise and salts the earth.

  3. Not sure where to start with this one, but the suck wil be massive with this one. Using the Ultimate line as your starting point is a, well “poor choice” doesn’t quite do it justice. It’s no wonder that Marvel is cancelling the FF title so that they can get the rights back. Not one of the actors in this “project” are right for the role and did no one tell them that Sue and Johnny are related?

    1. Well, the actor playing Torch said “we’re all a bunch of kids with disabilities”

      Just great. They think they’re the x-men.

      If I recall in the comics all of the Four except Johnny were in their late 20s early 30s and were professional/amateur scientists.

      Not “kids with disabilities”

  4. “The film will also be converted to 3D in post-production.”
    .
    What every editor likes to hear: ‘we’ll fix it in post’.

  5. Eh. FF sucks anyway.
    Ben Grimm is about the only redeeming feature of the title. (Although some takes on Victor Von Doom have been decent.)
    .
    BTW, anyone else geeking out about Future’s End? It’s so nice to have a title that’s not constantly getting whipsawed by whatever promotional “big event” the company’s currently pushing.

  6. This movie has had DOOM (and not in the good sense) written all over it ever since they cast a black man as Johnny Storm and a white woman as Sue Storm. The only question is, will it be a bigger bomb than Highlander 2 or Addams Family Reunion?

    1. What aggravates me here is… if they’re going to go with a black Johnny Storm, then why not make Sue Storm black too, then? …I know, I know: this isn’t actually Marvel, more’s the pity.

      1. This movie needs to fail, it could end up bringing the whole Comic Book film genre with it. We’ll be back to the days of Superman IV being considered *decent*

        1. “We’ll be back to the days of Superman IV being considered *decent*”

          I don’t think those days existed. 😛

        1. “We should all pretend this hasn’t happened.”

          Kind of like how some people pretend The Matrix had sequels?

  7. On the bright side it solves the question of whether to see it in a theater or wait till it comes out on HBO, or not to watch it at all.

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