Jul
05
2015

USA wins Women’s World Cup. …As one would expect of Americans, of course.

Why am I noting this, given that I care nothing for soccer, barely remembered that women play it, too, and had to be told tonight that there was even a game going on, let alone a championship? …Really? I have to explain this?  OK: The USA. Beat. The rest of the world. At something.  That’s all the justification I need.  I don’t care if it’s a spitting contest; you go out there and spit farther than any of those foreign teams, Team USA. And it’s all the sweeter if my previous indifference makes anybody mad.  Maybe they should have spent less time being mad and more time winning.

Because that’s the American Way.

Moe Lane

PS: I actually will be annoyed if President Barack Obama does not host at the White House these fine, young American women who beat a bunch of foreigners to win America a World Cup. To the victors belong the spoils… and since Americans were the victors, here, they’ve earned the visit. Because they won.

PPS: No, I do not believe that Americans are better than everybody else, in the same way that (to semi-quote Diane Duane, no doubt to her horror) I do not believe in the chair that I am sitting in right now.

10 Comments

  • JAB says:

    Hmm. I like Diane Duane as an author. I don’t want to google her political views, do I?

  • Aruges says:

    Their third World Cup championship. They have been good for a long time. I assume this is due to women’s soccer attracting more athletic talent vs other women’s sports. That’s the reason the men’s soccer team under-performs. Most of the best men’s athletes play football, baseball, basketball.

    • Dave R says:

      Which isn’t to say that you could build a World Cup contender out of All-Star Game and Pro Bowl rosters; that’s nonsense. The skills (and body types) you need for soccer are different than baseball, basketball, or football, and people who can play at an elite level in multiple sports are extraordinarily rare.

      But there are almost certainly a lot of guys who would have been great soccer players if they’d spent their life playing it, instead of being okay or even merely very good at other sports. Much as there are probably guys who’d be great basketball or football or baseball players if they’d spent their life at it hanging around in second-tier soccer leagues in Europe and South America.

      • Wombat-socho says:

        And that’s just not going to happen until soccer players here make the same kind of money players in the MLB, NBA, NFL…hell, I think even NHL players make more than soccer players here in the US. Which is fine by me.

  • nighttwister says:

    It was over in the first 4 minutes. Not a terribly exciting game, but then metric football rarely is.

  • Luke says:

    Eh. I still don’t actually care.
    But I do find the bitter tears of foreigners to be refreshing.

  • tomiathon says:

    you might want to reconsider, Moe. America winning in soccer just means more enthusiasm from lefty euro-wannabe losers pushing their loser game into our media space. I want America to be an abysmal failure in soccer so that it never gets mentioned. soccer is bad and its fans should feel bad.

    • Wombat-socho says:

      As my cousins in the Dominican Republic say (loosely translated) “Soccer is for kids too uncoordinated to play baseball.”

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