Ah, the joys of venture capital. Meet Juicero:
— Bloomberg Technology (@technology) April 19, 2017
The idea was that you bought the four hundred buck juicer, then signed up for weekly delivery of bags of vegetables and fruit that you could then squeeze in the juicer for fresh juice. …All right. But, the problem that Bloomberg mentioned? It turns out that you can get more out of the bags by hand-squeezing them. So…. no need for the four hundred buck juicer.
But I’m a visionary, so I can solve Doug Evans’ little juice problem in one step. Ready? Here you go:
JuicBro. As in, Do you even JuicBro? You sell it as an organic, healthy, vitamin-rich part of your daily workout. Squeeze out some fitness! Get a workout and juice up at the same time! The more you JuicBro, the more Juice, Bro.
I’m telling you, there’s salvation there for you, Doug. You gotta ride the catastrophe curve. This is how they salvaged stuff, back in the old days…
*Unless you use it. In that case I want one hundred grand, flat out, no games, no further obligations. And please note: I may be retired from The Life, but I still know which numbers to call. Don’t try to steal this. Cheaper to just pay the hundred grand, dude.