Practical Demon Breeding – Google Docs
Practical Demon Breeding
This book (written by one “Mary O’Brien, Jermyn Chair of Exotic Zoology, OBE”) is not for the faint of heart. Not that Practical Demon Breeding is actively pernicious; indeed, it is scrupulous about presenting a strong, credible, and practical case against encouraging evil behaviors and traits in one’s demons. It’s just that it’s profusely illustrated; and… it’s a book about breeding demons. Some of the pictures are nigh-impossible to credit.
And what are demons? Well, they’re pretty much what people think of when they hear the word ‘imps:’ small, rather humanoid, supernatural creatures with an aptitude for destruction, and the native intelligence of a fairly bright dog. From context clues, ‘demons’ have been a side effect of ‘spontaneous Hellmouth incursions’ since ‘the Monte Bello Disaster of 1952.’ Fortunately, demons are also apparently fairly tractable, and easily enough bred. The book was published in 1990, which was enough time for the breeding program to reach its fourth generation.
Currently, Professor O’Brien recommends that breeders select for tractability, omnivorism, even teeth, and glossy hides. One chapter is dedicated to why breeders should not try to eliminate ‘weakness to holy water’ as a trait, starting with a humorous reminder that doing so violates several international treaties. Another chapter describes, in almost chillingly matter-of-fact tones, exactly which innocuous substances and compounds can be used in place of things like ‘virgin’s blood’ or whatnot when it comes to treating demon illnesses. Again, it’s not that what’s being described is exactly awful; it’s the implications and assumptions involved.
And then there’s the dust jacket. Professor O’Brien decided to include several of her demons in the author’s photo. The effect is… your eyes don’t really want to focus on anything, honestly.
So, why has the team been sent to find the home dimension of this book? Truthfully? These demons look like they could be infernally, hah, useful. And since clearly they’re under control, all that needs to be done is to collect a breeding sample of already-domesticated demons and maybe an expatriate trainer or two. It really all seems rather simple, yes?