Description: take a M26 Pershing tank, replace the 90mm main gun with a stubbier, classified cylinder which causes nosebleeds in any human that looks too closely at the classified symbols etched on its surface, swap out the engine for a literally indestructible cube of some classified alloy that smells faintly of copper and iron, and cover the (significantly reduced) armor with more alarming, classified symbols. The machine guns remain unchanged. The sealed crew compartment is larger than a regular Pershing tank, and can carry 6 humans and their gear sustainably. Hellcrawlers have a classified life support system that can keep up to 9 humans alive indefinitely.
Weight: 45 tons
Operational Range: For as long as the crew holds out
Max Speed: 50 mph on roads, 10 mph off road
Crew capacity: 6
Continue reading Item Seed: Hellcrawler.
Technically, it’s known as mutated pseudocowpox, but that’s a mouthful. So was ‘milker’s nodule,’ but that at least could be trimmed down into a two-syllable word that sounded vaguely medical. Slang’s a funny thing. This version is contagious, from either skin contact or fluid exchange.
Anyway, milnods are what can happen when cowpox jumps species to a DNA-based bovine-equivalent, then jumps again into a DNA-based sapient alien species. Yeah, there’s a lot of those out there. Panspermia, Precursors, ancient alien species that used the same particular form of food yeast on all their planets; take your pick. The point is that people all over the Galaxy absolutely have to worry about catching each other’s germs.
Continue reading Disease Seed: Milnods
Description: they’re cannolis that have been bathed in the death energies thrown off by someone who has been suddenly and ritually murdered. Murder Cannolis don’t have to be dipped in blood or anything like that to gain their esoteric status. In fact, it’s preferable that they’re not, because pastries that have been in direct contact with an actual corpse are the very definition of ‘gross’ and ‘unsanitary.’
Powers: Soak up a man’s death, soak up that which he leaves behind. Murder Cannolis bring good financial luck; eat one, and a portion of the victim’s total wealth gets transferred to you. This is usually coincidental in nature, but sometimes it just comes down to a sudden bank account deposit.
Continue reading Item Seed: Murder Cannolis.
pelargonium zonale laeti
Tattoo Geraniums are not themselves magical; they are flowering plants that have been deliberately bred for ritual magic susceptibility. More specifically, the Geraniums can be used to ‘draw’ permanent magic sigils and designs outdoors, using the living plants as the ‘ink.’ The sigils drawn this way tend to be fairly robust, as a by-product of the enchantment process: it is difficult to deliberately destroy any individual Tattoo Geranium. But if one of the plants is destroyed, it can be swapped out with another one of the same color.
Continue reading Item Seed: Tattoo Geraniums.
The Heart of Cincinnati
Description: a chain necklace. The pendant is a small hunk of concrete that’s shaped roughly like a Valentine’s heart. The Heart of Cincinnati is perfectly safe to wear; it never catches on skin or clothing, and is always slightly warm to the touch.
Powers: “Whosoever wears this Token is the Hidden Ruler of Cincinnati.”
Continue reading Item Seed: The Heart of Cincinnati.
Idol of Disputation
Description: a small ceramic figurine of a leering, fat humanoid (some versions are male, some female). The Idol of Disputation will show up as magical on a standard scan. The Idol is sturdy enough to be dropped, but it will break if deliberately thrown to the ground.
Powers: Normally, an Idol of Disputation generates a field (12 feet radius) that encourages people to argue. It won’t force people to disagree with each other, but if they were inclined to do so anyway this artifact will more or less egg them on. Note that the argument does not have to be hostile, and that the artifact will not impose an emotional state on anyone; universities will often keep Idols around in order to encourage wide-ranging and vigorous student debates in class.
Continue reading Item Seed: Idol of Disputation.