Group Seed: CANDYCANE.


Otherwise known as the Covert Assault National Defense Youth Cadre, Air-Naval Echelon. And it’s just what it says on the label;  a clandestine American military agency that recruits children to fight hidden wars in the skies every December, just to make sure that Christmas comes to America every year.  And that Santa Claus survives the night.

…What?  Good Lord, people: NORAD tracks and escorts Santa Claus every year.  What, did everyone just assume that this was for fun?  It’s not for fun.  It’s to keep Saint Nick from being ambushed mid-air by all sorts of Nasty-Gnawers and Bad Witches and Shrieking Goblins and all the rest of the disgusting monstrosities that can bubble up from the depths of the Collective Unconscious.  Jung was right about that concept, you know — but if he had truly known about some of the stuff that was really down there, the man would have probably burned all his notes and fled to a monastery.  Suffice it to say that the world can get real scary-bad, real quick.

Continue reading Group Seed: CANDYCANE.

Group Seed: Confraternity of the Malignant Crab.

Confraternity of the Malignant Crab

Description: The Confraternity of the Malignant Crab is a secret cult of operating room surgeons and staff that is centered around the ritual sacrifice of cancerous human flesh.  Acolytes of the cult can be found in many Western hospitals, including Japan. The cult has no formal symbol, but Confraternity cultists are understandably fond of crab imagery.

Well.  The best thing that you can say about the Confraternity of the Malignant Crab is that they’re actually not utterly unreasonable, for a human sacrifice cult.  Not actively malevolent, at least. It’s not like they make people suffer.  Or at least, they don’t at the moment.

Continue reading Group Seed: Confraternity of the Malignant Crab.

Group Seed: Sawila Foods.

Sawila Foods, Inc.

HQ: Manila, with regional field offices in Kathmandu, Chittagong, Muscat, Varna, Belem, and Inverness, and local offices worldwide. Sawila studiously avoids North American operations.

Employment: roughly ten thousand worldwide (two thousand in Manila). Each regional office has about six hundred or so staffers; field offices can range from ten to several hundred staff.

Purpose of company: Exotic foodstuffs.  Sawila looks worldwide for unique and unusual foods, marketing them to those with a discerning palate.  Quality and reliability are the company’s watchwords.

Continue reading Group Seed: Sawila Foods.

Group Seed: The Assiduous Watchbreed.

The Assiduous Watchbreed

Goals: these days?  Organized crime, both mundane and occult. Members of the Assiduous Watchbreed will do anything illegal, if the money’s right; they specialize in drugs, the most unsavory forms of human trafficking, and magical assassinations.  The Watchbreed have learned from painful experience that the art of assassinations is best practiced solely against other criminals; there are too many public officials or law enforcement personnel who have secret wards and occult tripwires attached to them, and the Assiduous Watchbreed have no friends.

Continue reading Group Seed: The Assiduous Watchbreed.

Group Seed: ‘Fleet Fluoride and the Corsairs of the Carbonated Sea.’

I was originally gonna do something else but then I got distracted.

Fleet Fluoride and the Corsairs of the Carbonated Sea

So.  Candyland is real.  And terrifying.  The people who know don’t talk about it much, and they definitely don’t talk at all about how to get there, because then some idiot might actually decide to go; and you don’t visit Candyland without an understanding in place with the local warlords, and armed guards at your back.  Candylander species like meat as much as we like sweets, you see. Worse, far too many of the creatures there have not yet learned to forswear human flesh (some of those creatures wear clothes and have the power of speech).

Continue reading Group Seed: ‘Fleet Fluoride and the Corsairs of the Carbonated Sea.’

Group Seed: The Authentic Human Mystic Fortune Cookie Sodality.

Authentic Human Mystic Fortune Cookie Sodality

Location: Bayonne, New Jersey, United States of North America, Terra

Purpose: Fortune cookie manufacture for the interstellar trade, with a sideline in guaranteed human arcane hokum and pseudoscience.

…Well, they’re not hurting anybody.

That’s the argument and/or rationalization usually made by the Terran branch of the Authentic Human Mystic Fortune Cookie Sodality (the AHMFCS does not represent itself as a religious organization under Terran law, is not associated with any Terran or offworld religious or metaphysical organization [particularly including the Roman Catholic Church], and should be considered a for-profit business corporation under Terran law. Monetary contributions or other considerations made to the AHMFCS are not considered tax deductible under Terran law). They just make the cookies.  And, yes, the company has a variety of pamphlets and other media materials in a variety of standard Galactic languages that can be purchased for entertainment purposes only.  

Continue reading Group Seed: The Authentic Human Mystic Fortune Cookie Sodality.

Group Seed: Those Who Serve the Laughing Madness.

Those Who Serve the Laughing Madness

Description: Remarkably civilized cult worshiping a cosmic horror whose mere sight drives men mad.

On paper, this cult should be prettily straightforwardly awful.  Those Who Serve the Laughing Madness are devotees of, well, the Laughing Madness, which is a fairly standard Elder God from another reality whose presence sends mere mortals down the spiral of madness, etc etc, and he will surely come at the End Times, yadda yadda, there is no defense against his majestic insanity, blah blah blah.  All of that previous sentence was literally taken from a fairly famous sermon done by a high priest of the cult itself, complete with various mildly obscene hand gestures at appropriate points to indicate particularly self-indulgent passages.

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Group Seed: Mizra Computing.

Mizra Computing

HQ: Poughkeepsie, New York; satellite offices in NYC, San Francisco, Oak Ridge

Staff: 500

Ostensible purpose: high-end computer repair

Actual purpose: permanent interdimensional refuge

While the company was founded in 1967, Mizra Computing actually came into existence in April of 2006 as part of an interdimensional… something. Not exactly a planar shift, not really a temporal alteration; more like the universe itself temporarily flickered into a new, distinctly more unpleasant, form.  In that one endless moment of the Flicker, the individuals who would go on to have always been Mizra Computing’s management and staff attempted to somehow anchor themselves so that when the Flicker was over, they would remain in our ‘reality.’  And it worked, to the point where the universe itself created new identities and histories for its new immigrants.

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Group Seed: Conglominatti.


If the field of alternate timeline sociology teaches us anything, it teaches that there are three paths to big-c Conspiracies.  There is the accretion path, in which one shadowy group takes over more and more other groups until it discovers, one day, that they’re the Secret Masters now, hooray!; there is the reorganizational path, where a shadowy group attempting accretion discovers that their Conspiracy has been taken over from the inside and/or parceled off into a number of half-independent factions inside the main structure, which then contest amongst themselves for power; and there is the amalgamation path, where various independent shadowy groups deliberately combine efforts to create a Conspiracy built up of sovereign, autonomous entities.  That last sort is called a ‘Conglominatti’ by the more vulgar, and is discussed below.

Continue reading Group Seed: Conglominatti.