Tweet of the Day, I Don’t Remember Anything, Officer edition.

I think that maybe it was this big green guy*?

https://twitter.com/ThatEricAlper/status/915393124305981440

Moe Lane

*I’ve never told this story?  Huh.  OK.  Back in the day, when I was working summers in a Mickey Dee’s on the Jersey Shore, the beach town that I was working in had something that was officially called ‘Fraternity Sunday.’  Basically, what happened was that there was a major convention of African-American fraternities and sororities in Philly every summer, and after that all the kids would come to Belmar for the beach (Greekfest). Why there? I dunno.  Anyway, that weekend was one of those where you stuffed the schedule full of people, accepted no excuses or pleas to have the time off, and fully staffed every station, because college students**.

Now me, I’m a crew trainer — perpetually, at that job; you can imagine how well upper management loved my sarcastic ass — and I’m backing up my manager (who was also my best friend at the time) on the cashier line.  It’s going busy, but it’s going.  And then we hear this ripping sound from the men’s room.  He runs, I run to back him up, we get inside… and we discover that somebody has torn the door to the toilet stall off of its hinges and placed it to one side.  My buddy looked around the packed men’s room and asked “All right, who did this?”

Without skipping a beat, one extremely large fellow looked over his shoulder while still pissing in the sink and said, “Hey, man.  It was some big green guy.”

I looked at my buddy, he looked at me, and we… left.  Because what the heck else could we do?  When the owner asked what happened, my buddy said “They said it was some big green guy” — and that was still being used as an excuse for stuff at that store when I quit, years later.

**To be fair about this, the entire situation was stable until MTV decided to have a concert there in 1992, which ended in a riot. Greekfest kind of went sour after that. I don’t think that they still do it.