[UPDATE] Welcome, Instapundit readers. Yes, this is a real story.
…then it’s pretty clear: you have a vampire problem.
Headmaster: No Vampires At Our School
Boston Latin H.S. Tries To Quash Rumors
BOSTON — The headmaster of one of the city’s most prestigious exam schools is dealing with an unusual rumor sweeping student classrooms.
There are no vampires at Boston Latin School, says headmaster Lynne Moone Teta.
Yeah. Damn right you saw this movie. We all did. And we all know what happens next: there’s going to be a few more people gone, and then there’s going to be a couple more, and there’s going to be some conveniently-upcoming big shindig and the bloodsucking fiends are going to be converging en masse on the conveniently-stake-free walking smorgasbord. Just like clockwork.
Well, I’m here to properly help. Not to try to tell you why there are no vampires, really: if there aren’t any, why bother telling you? No, I’m here to tell you what to do when one of the gore-lusting leeches comes smashing through the walls looking for your precious bodily fluids.
Continue reading If your school has to issue a press release denying your vampire problem…