Mar
27
2018
3

Adventure Seed: That Refreshing Taste [The Day After Ragnarok]

That Refreshing Taste [Ragnarok] – Google Docs

 

That Refreshing Taste

[The Day After Ragnarok]

 

Lt. Commander John Austin (USN) has been given an assignment by the Warren administration: put a team together, go to the ruins of Atlanta, and extract the formula for Coca-Cola. Why? Well, it’s kind of complicated.

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Mar
23
2018
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Item Seed: Sun Eggs.

Sun Eggs – Google Docs

Sun Eggs

 

Description: an ovoid shape that does look a lot like a Terran bird’s egg.  The Sun Eggs given to humanity are about the size of a human male, weigh half a ton, and are utterly impervious to any attempt to analyze them more thoroughly than ‘Well, it’s light green in color, smooth, and neither warm nor cold to the touch.’  Oh, and they don’t topple over. Or break. You can pick one up with the right tools, but Sun Eggs don’t suffer damage from anything.

 

Why ‘Sun Eggs?’ Well, that’s what the envoy from the half-mythical Elder Planets called them when they gave Earth three of the things.  The envoy went on to solemnly inform the bemused Terran diplomatic delegation that in billions of years these Eggs would hatch into new suns, and that in the meantime humanity was to protect and cherish them. As it has been done before, with countless other races, for billions and billions of years.

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Mar
22
2018
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Item Seed: Battery Charger.

Battery Charger

 

Not a battery recharger: a battery charger. You plug it into the wall, you pop in a standard-sized non-rechargeable alkaline battery into one of the slots provided (from AAA to E), and within half a minute it charges up the battery for you from wall current. It always works. It doesn’t seem to hurt the battery. It doesn’t care what brand the battery is, or how old it is.  You can buy a Battery Charger from a sidewalk vendor in most major cities in the Americas for about twenty bucks.

 

Just don’t show one to a chemist, unless of course you like seeing people have nervous breakdowns. The Battery Charger cannot actually work, because non-rechargeable alkaline batteries rely on a particular kind of chemical reaction that can’t be reversed simply by shooting enough electricity through it.  Unless you have a Battery Charger, apparently. The Battery Charger does things to the internal composition of the battery it’s charging that the charger, well, simply shouldn’t be able to do. And neither the chemists nor the physicists who will end up looking at one of these devices will be able to make heads or tails of it.  But the Chargers work! Somehow.

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Mar
21
2018
1

Species Seed: Mirror Ninja.

Mirror Ninja – Google Docs

Mirror Ninja

 

Mirror Ninja are very dark blue-skinned humanoids of extra-dimensional origins.  While they’re about the same size as Humans, they typically aren’t as quite bulky.  Their features are regular enough and close enough to those of other humanoid races to be attractive, while still being different enough to not look disturbingly distorted.  Most Mirror Ninja have very dark red-black hair; their men have facial hair. Their eyes and teeth are almost exactly like those of Humans. Mirror Ninja cannot interbreed with any other known race.

 

Mirror Ninja get their name from their ability to use mirrors as portals from this plane of existence to an adjacent one (rather unsurprisingly called Mirror-space).  Any reflective surface that’s large enough to allow a Mirror Ninja pass through can be used; Mirror Ninja have been observed jumping through puddles, buffed metal surfaces, and sufficiently polished granite.  A Mirror Ninja can bring about thirty pounds or so of gear along; however, living creatures cannot be brought through. Mirror Ninja typically favor wearing loose trousers and hooded tunics of as dark a color as they can manage, mostly to avoid wearing anything reflective.

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Mar
19
2018
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Location Seed: VFW Post #7123.

VFW Post #7123 – Google Docs

VFW Post #7123

 

VFW Post #7123 is located in Gerritsen Beach, Brooklyn; and it’s utterly unremarkable. The Post is located in a standalone cinder block banquet hall-plus-bar not too far from the water, and while it was hammered by Hurricane Sandy a few years back the damage was all repaired.  And therein hangs a tale.

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Mar
18
2018
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Group Seed: Undead Community Society.

Undead Community Society – Google Docs

Undead Community Society

 

The Undead Community Society (UCS) is what is left over when the creation of reliable necromantic reanimation spells results in the sudden appearance of free-willed Undead, who then break into factions supporting/opposing living humans, each other, and society in general.  There was a rather nasty little civil war among the Undead, in fact. The UCS was one of the two main factions, and the Zombie Liberation Front (ZLF) was the other. Fortunately for more or less everybody, ZLF lost. Badly.

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Mar
17
2018
--

Item Seed: Sunlight Jerky.

Sunlight Jerky – Google Docs

Sunlight Jerky

 

How do you go about turning sunlight into jerky? Well, first off you have to be really bright.  Sorry: that’s a Gnomish joke.

 

Truthfully, the stuff isn’t really sunlight itself; it’s a particular kind of dried meat from a particular kind of mountain squirrel that, when cut very finely with a particular sort of Gnomish knife during a particular sort of folk-magic ritual, can mystically absorb sunlight and retain it through the marinade and drying process.  If you do it right, the stuff has a faint yellow glow in darkness, which is one way to tell if you have ‘real’ Sunlight Jerky. The other way, of course, is to feed some to a vampire, and see if he explodes.  

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Mar
16
2018
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Creature Seed: The Chattering Man.

Chattering Man – Google Docs

The Chattering Man

 

Chattering Man

Chattering Man

Big white whiskers,

Lives in a can;

 

Give him a buck

He’ll treat you good

But if you’re mean

He’ll get you good.

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Mar
15
2018
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Background Seed: Aklare Delal Une.

Aklare Delal Une – Google Docs

Aklare Delal Une

 

Yes, yes, focus on the audio file.  That’s the idea. Fix your gaze and horrified ears on what is touted as ‘the first sound recording.’  It’s not, really. It’s a digitized version of a phonautograph record — a 19th Century method of reproducing sound waves in visual form — which has then been sped up and warped, specifically to make it sound even creepier.  Humans are wired like that; if you want to make sure that a audio file is set for maximum levels of unsettling, make sure that it sounds like it’s being sung by a small child.  And in this case you want it set for maximum levels of unsettling, because the more outre the sound file is then the less attention that people will spend on the phonautograph’s creator.  In this case, one Édouard-Léon Scott de Martinville.

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Mar
14
2018
1

Adventure Seed: Federal March.

Federal March – Google Docs

Federal March

 

When the Galactic Federation announced its new ‘national’ anthem (the so-called ‘Federal March’), Terrans collectively had a good laugh.  The melody had been fairly obviously lifted whole from a piece of classical Terran music from their planet’s Dawn of Space era, presumably because the ‘composer’ thought that nobody would notice except Terrans, and then only the ones who were musiciologists.  Alas for the composer, the music in question had been recently used in a popular children’s show, as is traditional for Terran classical music. This effectively meant that every Terran adult between the ages of thirty and one hundred and twenty now immediately associates the Galactic Federation with the “Ultra-Loonie Uncle Robot” show.  Which is, by the way, a hysterical program. Especially if you’re a scholar of Terran popular culture. The Uncle Robot people ripped off everybody.

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