Scenario: a six year old boy in Quebec is excluded from entering a drawing for a stuffed bear because his parents used a Ziploc bag to store his sandwich (Ziploc bags are apparently worse than Tupperware, theologically speaking). When the parents contacted the school, the teacher presumed to lecture them on the subject, presumably because said teacher felt it necessary to subject other people to her own religious views. Needless to say, at no point is it actually explained why the specific punishment for this ‘transgression’ was necessary for the child’s development; in fact, it is unclear that the teacher would have been able to explain the rationale behind the transgression in the first place*. Nonetheless, a message was made.
- What the intent of the message was: It is very, very important to make sure that even the smallest act of heresy and Gaia-hatred be vigilantly defended against. It is regrettable that this must sometimes result in a small child crying in shame and confusion because he does not have the vocabulary to explain the rigorous rules of his school life to his parents, but that is a small price to pay for stopping the malignant spread of Ziploc bags.
- What the actual message was: Greenies are assholes.
Via @CalebHowe.
Moe Lane
*I look forward to having many, many conversations along these lines with my childrens’ teachers. In this I am merely following the lead of my parents, who were the genial terrors of my and my sisters’ schools in a way that only a former teacher and a current union organizer can be. Particularly since the ‘tolerance for bullshit’ skill was in neither’s mental toolbox.
I want to know what post-consumer, recycled, organic goods the stuffed bear was made out of.
You have much to look forward to. I remember when my daughter brought home “May Day” baskets. The teacher professed she had no idea about the origins of May Day and had never heard of any Soviet May Day arms parade. All new to her. Really, completely innocent, won’t ever happen again. Enjoy.
My take on the “litter-free” lunches: using plastic wrap creates LESS waste. How long does a “Tupperware” container last? The lid gets lost, it melts in the dishwasher, etc. You can wrap a lot of sandwiches with the equivalent plastic. Weigh a plastic sandwich container, then a piece of plastic wrap.