NASCAR driver accuses ex-girlfriend of being international assassin. Like you do.

It’s not that I think that this is true:

[F]ormer NASCAR Sprint Cup champion [Kurt Busch], 36, said that [ex-girlfriend Patricia] Driscoll “is a trained assassin dispatched on covert missions around the world,” The Associated Press reports. The news agency adds: “Busch said Driscoll repeatedly asserted her assassin status and claimed the work took her on missions across Central and South America and Africa.”

“Everybody on the outside can tell me I’m crazy, but I lived on the inside and saw it firsthand,” Busch said.

…it’s just that I’m blessed if I can think of a way to easily prove that it’s false. I mean: we know that there are professional assassins out there.  Some of them have to be women, and some of them have to be American.  So in a population the size of ours you’d have to expect that we’ve produced at least one American female assassin. So you can concede the existence of one.  As to whether she’d date a NASCAR driver… well, OK, yeah, that’d be on my list of plausible possible romantic interests for her: the guy has a pretty exciting, well-paid at his level, and personally dangerous job. If you read it in a book or saw it in a movie, you might think that it was a bit trite, but you’d concede that.

So here’s where it gets interesting… if you concede that such a thing is possible, how exactly do you demonstrate that it’s not actually happening.  One person who discussed this story with me privately argued that Kurt Busch is well known for being ‘legitimately insane.’  The problem there is that you’d have to be literally insane to knowingly date a professional assassin, too.  See the issue? It’s such a bizarre accusation that it actually turns in on itself.  It’s turtles all the way down, man. Turtles all the way down.

6 thoughts on “NASCAR driver accuses ex-girlfriend of being international assassin. Like you do.”

  1. On one hand, hand-eye coordination aside Kurt Busch ain’t the most carefully honed broadsword in the intellectual armory.

    On the other, as you suggest, it’s quite likely that good hand-eye coordination and a whiff of lunacy might be quite attractive to an international assassin.

  2. Wait, you’ve got another high-tech redneck around here? I figured I was the only one.
    .
    And yeah, Kurt Busch is pretty much crazy, but he’d seemed less so recently. Well, up until this anyways.

  3. I choose to believe it. It makes the world so much more interesting when you do.
    .
    Of course, if I were to include this in a “ripped from the headlines” conspiracy RPG, I’d have dice thrown at me.

  4. So she conceivably only reveals her secret to someone no one will ever believe if he spills it. It’s the perfect cover.

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