Recipe Alert: Uncle Moe tries to make Ice Cream Layer Cake.

Background: I saw this recipe on Facebook for an ice cream pound cake, and said Hey! I could make that.  So I did, based on what I remembered from the video.  Because sometimes you have to live a little, people. …Also, I couldn’t remember at the time precisely where I saw it, or who made the video (I did, later).

Here’s the video, for contrast. The Pioneer Woman’s Ice Cream Layer Cake:

So.  Let’s get dangerous*.

Here is what you’ll need:

• Frozen pound cake
• Pound cake slices because I was curious whether the frozen pound cake made a difference.  SCIENCE!
• Cake tin pans
• Saran Wrap
• Three kinds of ice cream (chocolate, vanilla, chocolate chip mint). These are all Lactaid because I have lactose intolerance.
• M&Ms
• Chocolate-covered pretzels
• That chocolate syrup that’s supposed to harden when it hits ice cream.

First, slice your frozen pound cake.  Try to make it even, because that ain’t evenly sliced.

Get some Saran Wrap and put it in the pans. You will get this wrong, several times. Try to notice before you start adding ice cream.

Then, place your first slice/slices in the pans.

Cool cooking tip: this is going to very quickly become an exercise in Just shove it in there and push it down. Accept your destiny. As long as it tastes good, right?

Anyway, add your vanilla ice cream. Smush it in, then go grab the bag of M&Ms and then whack the unopened bag with that meat tenderizer that you almost never use.  Once you’ve done that, and the ice cream has softened a little, dump some of the half-broken M&Ms on top and then smoosh the next slice of pound cake on top of it.

OK, now it’s time for the chocolate ice cream. Spread it around, then take the hammer to the bag of chocolate covered pretzels.  Then crumble the pretzels in your hand, because the hammer did nothing.

OK, now put on your last layer of pound cake, then cover with ice cream (chocolate chip mint).

You’re going to want to spread this around, because this is where things got hairy.  So, you take your chocolate syrup.  Shake it for twenty seconds, until you realize that nothing’s happening.  So then you run the bottle under hot tap water for two minutes, which definitely solves the ‘nothing’s happening’ problem. Oh, my, yes.  Anyway, dump the bottle onto your concoctions, then add M&Ms and pretzels on top.

You will then [realize] that this looks nothing like the video, but: there is not a goram thing in there that you would scorn to eat on its own as a quick snack, so wrap the tops loosely in Saran Wrap and send them to the freezer to, well, freeze.

And then we’ll see what happens, right?  Right.

Moe Lane

*Classical reference.