I’m now very confused.
A popular new craft IPA created by Stonemission Point Brewery is actually just a bottle of Pine-Sol, sources at the brewery admitted Thursday.
“Our new Pine-Sol IPA has that piney, hoppy flavor you love, plus it kills 99.9% of germs,” said Paolo Antony, head brewer for Stonemission Point. “We source only the best cleaning agents, ethoxylated undecl alcohol, pine oil, benzoic acids, and of course, way more hops than any beverage should ever have. Then, we brew it with care for several weeks before we serve it to our happy customers at any of our fine tasting rooms across the greater San Diego region.”
It’s not that I want to despise IPAs. It’s that I can’t get away from the damned things. Or hops. Dear God, yes, I get that there was a hops availability problem some time back. But there’s no need to overcompensate.
On the other hand: I kind of have a reference point these days for people who hate pumpkin spice.
Moe Lane
PS: Go ahead and drink IPAs if you like, obviously. I’m no guru: I’m just a guy spouting off on the Internet. I can easily be wrong.
The minor detail that the Babylon Bee claims to be a parody website hasn’t stopped Snopes from evaluating some of the Bee’s articles and declaring them to be fake news.
Humor is based on kernels of Truth.
It’s been a while, but I remember Mike and Jerry of Penny Arcade discussing hops and beers, and Jerry described American craft breweries as using hops “like a weapon”. That was years ago. I like an IPA, and I like hops, but it’s gotten pretty ridiculous. I would like to be able to buy at least some domestics that aren’t, e. g. Budweiser and get something other than hops. I would like the option, is all.
The blight of IPAs have almost gotten me to start brewing my own again.
(Alas, I no longer drink nearly enough to justify it.)
.
IPAs have a place.
If you’re transporting beer through tropical heat, for weeks (at least) on end, agitating it the entire time, the India Pale Ale will arrive no worse (and arguably better) than when it left the brewery.
But why do such a horrible thing to innocent barley if you don’t have to?
(Oh, right. It was sold to an indifferent British government, by n
brewers who pursued political connections rather than their craft. Adulterating the brew with substandard ingredients and overwhelming the taste with hops while charging a premium price is perfectly in keeping for the style.)
Evevidently, wordpress took offense at n-e-p-o-t-i-s-t-i-c.
.
I think we know how one of the programmers got his job…
I just noticed the WP censorship lately. They took exception to a *ahem* child of illegitimacy beginning with B.
Get out of my dream space. I kid you not I had this dream last night: I go over to my brother’s house with a nice bottle of the hard stuff. I pull it out, take a swig, and it’s literally Pine-Sol™.