This aside by Dave Barry reminds me of simpler times.
My sewing incompetence is so extreme that it was once noticed by Oprah Winfrey.
I am not making this up. Back in the 1990s, I was in Chicago to promote a book on The Oprah Winfrey Show, and as is required by federal law for male authors on book tour, I wore a navy blue sport jacket. The morning of the show, one of the buttons fell off, and I attempted to sew it back on myself, using a sewing kit that was in my hotel room. By stabbing my finger repeatedly and using approximately 200 yards of thread, I was able to create a large complex thread snarl around the button without really attaching it.
When I got to the TV studio, Oprah saw this thing dangling from my jacket — it looked like the button was being attacked by some kind of mutant insect — and asked me about it. When I explained the situation, she called for a needle and thread and told me to hand over my jacket. Then, in front of a live studio audience, she sewed the button on, efficiently and firmly. Oprah is a person of many talents.
Via Instapundit.