Things going too well!
Famous fucking last words, Bad Jack thought as he read the latest ‘Executive Summary’ from Old Hershey. At first he never bothered reading them, because who the hell cared what happened in the rest of the Consortium? But he had started, a little after the Yapper Incident, and now Bad Jack was hooked on the weekly gazette. According to Gumball, the Summary was ‘lurid’ and ‘sensational;’ Bad Jack got the impression those words were supposed to be bad, somehow, but damned if he could see why. Lurid and sensational were just the kind of things he liked to read.
Problem was, this week’s Summary had things he didn’t want to read. Today, it was all on the front page: UNHOLY TOLEDO CONQUERED! See of Iniquity set ablaze! Anti-Pope captured! And so on.
Out there, the Steelworks was celebrating pretty hard. Bad Jack didn’t blame ‘em, really: Unholy Toledo had been a fucking rat-nest. Half of western Ohio was running scared of them, and the other half wondered if they should start running. And everybody knew the Universal Dominion was using Toledo to conquer Ohio on the cheap, just like they did up in Michigan.
So when the Consortium came sniffing around, Bad Jack figured it was time to pick a side. It wasn’t a hard choice, either. But I figured they’d just keep Unholy Toledo away from my throat, he thought. Not that they’d tear out Toledo’s.