…make it this one.
After a solid, near-4-decade run, "jump the shark" has been replaced by "bear rape" as a code phrase for "your career has become a joke."
— John Schindler (@20committee) December 1, 2015
Background… here.
7 thoughts on “If you read one tweet about on-screen bear rape today…”
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1 out of 4 women on college campuses are raped by bears. Or at least that’s what the voices in my head say.
He was a hairy bear
He was a scary bear
We beat a hasty retreat from his lair
And described him with adjectives
We’re here, we’re there,
we don’t want any more bears!
*Something like that.
Guess they wanted to remake “Man in the Wilderness”… but with sex!
Has anyone asked Bear Grylls for comment?
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For that matter, has anyone asked Bexar, Texas?
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Mew
The bear was clearly provoked by the imperialist man occupying his territory and depriving him of a SafePlace. Other bears has clearly been driven off, leaving the victim no other choice but to sell out to his oppressor for satisfaction. This is just one more instance of other species rights being trampled by the Homo[sapiens]normative Humanarchy!
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#BearLivesMatter
I couldn’t believe nobody was linking to the obvious song*. Then I realized that it’s probably a regional thing, and that must of y’all are located on the other end of the country. So I was going to introduce you. Except that the internet doesn’t seem to believe that the song exists, even though I’ve heard it on the radio dozens of times (granted, before the internet was a thing).
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*True Born Alaskan
In which a greenhorn wants go know what it will take for the other people in the bar to accept him as one of them. They tell him to be an Alaskan, he has to:
Drink a fifth of whiskey (consider this the chorus)
Chop down a tree
Chorus
Pull in a net full of salmon
Chorus
Fight a polar bear
Chorus
F*** an Eskimo maiden.
He starts off slowly, but picks up momentum. He’s going strong by the time he staggers out looking for a polar bear. He comes back in all torn up and bloody, slams down a fifth, and roars “where’s this girl I’m supposed to fight?”