Here we go again. Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales. Comes out Memorial Day. It… might not suck? I mean, I liked On Stranger Tides well enough. But I would, wouldn’t I?
Category: Movies
The Samurai Jack Season 5 trailer.
Here we go. March 11th. And nothing else needs to be said.
Quote of the Day, You Tell ‘Em, Cthulhu edition.
“Please make better movies about me.”
Moe Lane
PS: Geeks Are Sexy updated to note that the 2005 HPLHS silent movie Call of Cthulhu Did Not Suck, which is true: it did not. It was also decidedly not produced by Hollywood, which is absolutely an indictment of Hollywood — and buttresses the comic’s original point, to boot. If a bunch of enthusiasts can create an excellent Cthulhu flick, there’s no reason why a major studio can’t produce at least a decent one.
Yet another tooth-grinding trailer for ‘Life.’
OK, class: who can tell me what’s wrong with this picture from the upcoming aliens-eating-you-in-orbit movie Life?
That’s right, class: FIRE. That is a device that creates fire. On a space station. And somebody thought that it was a good idea to haul that mass up a gravity well*. Fire does not belong on a space station. Aside from everything else, it eats the oxygen that your astronauts will be needing, and you cannot crack a window to let more oxygen in. Because it’s space.
Continue reading Yet another tooth-grinding trailer for ‘Life.’
Quote of the Day, Michael Bay Taunts Us All About Transformers edition.
GeekTyrant thinks that he might mean it, this time: “On the heels of this morning’s clip of the Transformers: The Last KnightSuper Bowl ad, Michael Bay has announced he’s officially leaving the franchise…again.” But they note that Michael Bay LIES because he is a lying LIAR. …Sorry. This franchise annoys me, because every time I see a Michael Bay Transformers film I’m left with the feeling that there is a good movie buried in there. Somewhere. If I squint just the right way.
But the movies rack up the cash, so what do I know? …No, seriously: that’s a potent argument, for me. The last Transformers flick brought in over a billion dollars worldwide while only managing a 18% critics’ rating on Rotten Tomatoes (51% from fans), which argues that it works as entertainment for somebody. A lot of somebodies. I have to acknowledge that.
OK, one last Honest Trailer (Jupiter Ascending) before bed.
(From 2015) I’ve never seen Honest Trailers more or less give up like this. Jupiter Ascending was simply too absurd to mock. They felt compelled in the end to just recount the plot.
So apparently I can’t watch *good* movies on the treadmill.
The better the movie or show, the less I like it while exercising. But I’m halfway through Death Race 2050 at this point and I’m apparently OK with that*. Kind of weird, really – especially since I can read pretty much anything and still be fine. Then again, I’ve long since taught myself to read anywhere and at any time.
I suspect that I won’t want to watch merely bad films, though. I am going to need the Cheese. All of the Movie Cheese.
Moe Lane
*My God, but it’s absolutely dumb. The good kind of dumb, which comes when you actually have an artistic vision and attempt to fulfill it. I’m never going to watch it again and I think Roger Corman’s more than a bit of an ass, but am I not entertained? …Yes. Yes, I am.
So, live action/CGI ‘The Rats of NIMH.’
This story about the upcoming movie The Rats of NIMH is an interesting one, because of this: “According to Variety, the new film will be an adaptation of Robert C. O’Brien’s 1971 novel Mrs. Frisby and the Rats of NIMH, and not a direct recreation of the original Don Bluth film.” It’s interesting because I happened to read the book before I saw the movie – we didn’t really watch much Disney in the house, growing up – and when I did see it I was startled a bit to see how the conversion from book to movie also somehow required flipping the genre from science fiction to fantasy. The contrast was a little jarring, if I recall correctly.
Mind you, I’m not saying that The Secret of NIMH was a bad kid’s film, or that Mrs. Frisby and the Rats of NIMH was hard science fiction. And I’m not even saying that the director shouldn’t have flipped genres like that. I’m merely saying that it would be interesting to see a film version that’s more faithful to the source material. Although I blanch at the thought of another live action/CGI movie…
One hopes that the ‘Slice of Life’ people learned from Axanar’s mistake.
As in, making sure that the copyright holders of Blade Runner won’t mind them raising money to make a twenty-five minute Slice of Life movie. Let’s not have another Axanar, shall we? The last one caused a lot of hurt feelings, all around.
Continue reading One hopes that the ‘Slice of Life’ people learned from Axanar’s mistake.
Two John Wick 2 clips.
I’m kind of with Coming Soon on the first clip: it’s like a Matrix reunion! I’ll go one further, in fact: John Wick 3 should be a Matrix reunion. Turns out that this world is the new, improved world that the cow-battery AIs came up for all of us after whatever the hell happened in the third Matrix movie that I did not even bother to watch.