Via @SonnyBunch comes this fascinating passive-aggressive letter from a newly-converted vegan to her omnivorous* roommate. It’s too long to reproduce and too good to excerpt: suffice it to say that after reading it I’m tempted to go buy some veal, cook it up, film myself eating it with an open mouth, and send the woman the video.
And I have a bit of a problem with eating veal.
Moe Lane
*No, not ‘normal.’ I know plenty of vegetarians who are perfectly sane and rational people who avoid meat for religious, dietary, or even culinary reasons.
Sounds like it’s time to start frying up bacon… for every meal. If you made the place smell of bacon, 24×7, all your normal friends would love the place, and the vegan would spend her time crying into her patchouli scented pillow.
Google “Pig Candy”. Mmmm.
Saw a recipe today for bacon cornbread. Uses the fried bacon AND the drippings.
Haven’t had good veal pocket in years. Stuff it with bacon and egg cornbread stuffing, old fashioned food for REAL Carnivores! YUM!
I don’t have an issue eating veal. *eats veal*
given that this note was posted almost 6 months ago, I would love to hear how this turned out.
I’m going to go out on a limb here and say ‘badly.’ 🙂
I liked the:
Carnivore?
Chances are you don’t need some wimpy support group.
Keep being awesome!
at the end.
Personally, I’d leave this song on a continuous loop:
Carrot Juice is Murder by Arrogant Worms
Listen up brothers and sisters,
come hear my desperate tale.
I speak of our friends of nature,
trapped in the dirt like a jail.
Vegetables live in oppression,
served on our tables each night.
This killing of veggies is madness,
I say we take up the fight.
Salads are only for murderers,
coleslaw’s a fascist regime.
Don’t think that they don’t have feelings,
just cause a radish can’t scream.
Chorus:
I’ve heard the screams of the vegetables (scream, scream, scream)
Watching their skins being peeled (having their insides revealed)
Grated and steamed with no mercy (burning off calories)
How do you think that feels (bet it hurts really bad)
Carrot juice constitutes murder (and that’s a real crime)
Greenhouses prisons for slaves (let my vegetables go)
It’s time to stop all this gardening (it’s dirty as hell)
Let’s call a spade a spade (is a spade is a spade is a spade)
I’m sure it did end badly, but I would like DETAILS.
Sidebar: did anyone else notice the subtext here? “I’ve become a vegetarian, so YOU have to change YOUR lifestyle to accommodate ME!”
Typical freaking leftard.
Q: When you are at a dinner party, how can you tell who the vegan is?
A: Don’t worry. They’ll tell you.
Here’s what to do when a vegetarian throws a dinner party:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GKTsWjbjQ8E
I love ordering the all the meats pizza for a pizza party. Especially right after someone proclaims they are vegetarian and can only eat cheese pizza. Because somewhere at sometime some dude with 3 teeth in his head and a lazy eye had to line up a cow, a pig, and a chicken; and with a hoot and a holler, “PIZZA TIME!” *BAM* *BAM* *BAM*. Ahhhhh, only the heathen gods of ancient history had this many animals sacrificed for what has now become the most delicious of ZZaaaa’s.