This is going to be the funniest thing that you read this morning. Executive summary: there was this guy named Tucker Max – whose name I was apparently expected to recognize on sight; I had to look him up to discover that he wrote this book called I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell – who was looking to donate 500K to charity in order to reduce his tax burden. So his agent suggested that Max contribute it to Planned Parenthood in Texas; Max, being pro-choice (of course*) decided that this was, in fact, a perfect charity for him (of course*). Everything was going swimmingly until somebody at PP recognized the name ‘Tucker Max’ and hit the panic button. They ended up adamantly refusing taking the money under any circumstances whatsoever, citing Max’s (allegedly extremely juvenile**) writing towards women. That led to this unintentionally hysterical exchange:
PP: “We don’t feel it would be appropriate, given Planned Parenthood’s mission and your body of work, to accept your donation.”
Tucker: “What? I thought Planned Parenthood’s mission was about helping women, not passing judgment on humor.”
Dag, but that’s funny. As is the entirely aggreived tone of the Forbes article, which is written by a guy who cannot believe that Planned Parenthood would put up their nose at good liberal money when they’re being attacked by the evil, evil VRWC (howdy). I don’t have to explain the joke to my regular readers, but here goes: it’s funny because Planned Parenthood’s mission is not in fact ‘helping women.’ Its mission is to support a liberal feminist agenda, and by that criteria taking money from Tucker Max is as about as taboo as treating a pro-life conservative woman as if she was a real, live human being.
The truly funny part about this one? From what I’m seeing, Tucker Max deserves being treated like this, anyway. If only because his surrogate immediately launched into nasty – well, nasty if you’re a liberal – accusations and comparisons against PP in response. This is not in itself unusual: there’s nothing as vicious as an offended white liberal male going after what he thinks is a safe minority target. It’s just unfortunately rare that you see the venom directed inward.
*That was not meant to be complimentary.
**’Allegedly’ because I haven’t actually read any of it. I am perfectly happy to believe the allegation that Max wrote shallow, puerile glib rhetoric that fetishized the post-adolescent male, though. Or, as one of my colleagues put it privately: “…Tucker Max’s entire body of work is about casual sex, which he brags he’s had with hundreds or thousands of women. In that sense, him donating money to Planned Parenthood makes complete sense.”