Aug
20
2013

How pathetic is the Christian Nation alt-history?

This pathe… what’s that?  Oh, Christian Nation is this new, steadily-bombing alternate history that’s been out that takes as its change point John McCain winning the election (yeah, I know), then conveniently dying in Russia two months into his administration (yeah, I know) and leaving Sarah Palin to somehow idiot-savant evil-genius her way into creating an American theocracy (YEAH, I KNOW) over the next twenty years.  Because writing and publishing this tripe is apparently cheaper than undergoing therapy for irrational fear of Protestant Christians.  Then again, starting next year such therapy is probably going to be covered under Obamacare, which means that my rates would be going up in order to pay for it; so maybe writing it out is best for everybody concerned.

As I was saying: How pathetic is the Christian Nation alt-history?

This pathetic:

pathetic

That’s from the must-be-seen-to-be-believed video trailer for the book (AoSHQ has it up, if you like): and I will freely admit that I looked at it more closely solely because I was struck by how well preserved that New York Times front page was looking after twenty years of being shoved in a filing box. Yes, obviously, it’s a fake paper – John McCain didn’t die on March 9, 2009, of course* – but take another gander at the text of the article that they used for the fake front page:

Osama bin Laden, the mastermind of the most devastating attack on American soil in modern times and the most hunted man in the world, was killed in a firefight with United States forces in Pakistan on Sunday, President Obama announced.

…which is from the print edition of the May 1, 2011 New York Times.  In other words, the guys flogging the Christian Nation book are so desperate to cling to the one thing that they think that this current President can be credited for that they shoved an extraneous reference to it into their advertising.  And let me assure you: that reference of happier, more competent days was for them, not anybody else.  I only saw it because I know that newsprint oxidizes rapidly.

Moe Lane (crosspost)

PS: Look, I understand that it’s great to remember the good old days and everything, but you gotta face up to it when it becomes clear that the good old days are gone.  Barack Obama is an awful President – even if an American SEAL team did kill bin Laden.  Saying weird stuff about Sarah Palin isn’t going to help with that.

PPS: I wasn’t going to front this at RedState, except that I had a colleague point out that publisher W.W. Norton is so desperate to have this book succeed invested in this book’s message that they created a study guide for it (link also via AoSHQ).  God help the high school teacher that assigns this book in class, by the way.

PPPS: Let me lampshade: of course I didn’t read the book.  And I won’t, unless the publishers decide to shell out a thousand bucks to have me do it.  In advance.  No checks.  Because my time is valuable.

[UPDATE] Last one, I swear: this Tweet is pretty apropos.

*Do not be nyeh kurturny.

13 Comments

  • Matt S. says:

    Or, is it secretly the most subversive book ever? The book, which apparently reads like a lefty treatise on the horrors of the right, is actually, quite possibly, one of the most subversive books against the current president. However, to get such a thing published, it was required to be disguised, a la Animal Farm. Only, instead of casting pigs and donkeys, the author decided to cast as his villains someone that the target audience already villified.

    The bombing of the Castro neighborhood is the logical extension of Obama’s original policy of allowing drone strikes on American citizens. What seems like, at first, the chilling thought of a crazy Palin killing homosexuals she hates strikes a chord when we realize that it wasn’t the far right loonies who were advocating the right of the country to murder its citizens. Rather, it was the eminently reasonable Barack Obama who needed to be pulled off that ledge. This is the first of many examples of how the book takes a fictional event to parallel a real event, but changes the actors to help bring the reader to realize that certain actions (targeting of American citizens) are horrific.

    The Purity Web is the end result of sites such as Attack Watch, the email campaign to flag@whitehouse.gov, and other actions that the current government has used to gather information and attack political opponents, such as the current IRS scandal and the crackdown on reporters it views as the opposition.

    • Matt S. says:

      Ok, I know, that is highly unlikely. But, let me deconstruct this thing and earn that English degree.

      • Moe_Lane says:

        No, no, this is highly entertaining (something almost never said about literary deconstruction). :)

        • qixlqatl says:

          Heh, I’ve wondered if this isn’t a parody of a liberal’s idea of a future dystopia written by a conservative in a cynical bid to separate some fools from their money……..

  • jbird says:

    . . . It has a study guide? So this is the same premise as the Handmaiden’s Tale, right? That a whole religion centered around loving thy neighbor, because God sacrificially loved us will suddenly rise up and start killing teh gays and pregnant teenagers. Odd, there is a religion like that, but it’s not Christianity.

  • earlgrey says:

    What does this say about the Obama Presidency? We know he sucks, but we’ll make up this crazy story about one of his opponents will do so that you realize how great Obama is?

  • Darin_H says:

    I feel sorry for the author, it must hurt to furiously masturbate that often, while typing with the other hand. If your hate erection lasts more than 4 years, please consult a psychiatrist.

  • Cameron says:

    So why not an alternate history where Obama turned out to be a competent President and managed to get government out of the way to the point the country recovered? Would the publisher have felt that it was too far fetched?

  • Herp McDerp says:

    There are several posts over at AoSHQ about this little gem of a book. Don’t miss the commentary on the except that was posted on Salon. As Ace writes: “Below, please enjoy, to the extent it is possible, an example of the writer’s gift for human dialogue.” And commenter “B” adds: “Official Notice: As of today, Ayn Rand and George Lucas are dialogue gods.”

  • Catseyes says:

    Because the Reality is so bad we have to come up with something that might have been worse to make the present look better.

  • prayerborne says:

    I just tried looking up this “book” on Wikipedia, and interestingly enough searching “Christian Nation” takes you to “Christian right”. Anybody who’s read it, please SPOIL…I’m curious if Ace has to make good on his promise of cash ($10,000 if I recall) to each of his readers if the “Muslim terrorist attack” that precipitates martial law ISN’T a false-flag right-wing Christianist operation.

  • Leptopus says:

    At the end of the trailer, it says they are drawing the line at Manhattan, and they will fight for every building and alley. Wouldn’t the eeevil christianists just close the bridges? There’s maybe three days worth of food in Manhattan.

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