Oct
02
2018

Item Seed: Fangsaws.

It’s gonna be a horror-themed month, I’m thinking.

Fangsaws – Google Docs

Fangsaws

 

Description: take a miniaturized chainsaw.  Now replace the chain with a series of human teeth.  When in operation, the Fangsaw emits a low-pitched throb not unlike a zombie’s moan; the sound the teeth make when they cut into human flesh has been known to spawn nosebleeds for both the attacker and the victim.

 

The only reason why possession and/or manufacture of a Fangsaw is not immediate grounds for summary execution under Paragraph 6 of the Pan-American Occult Defense Pact of 1991 (signed by every nation-state on the American super-continent, including a couple you’ve never heard of) is because no atrocities or ‘supernatural terror crimes’ are required to enchant this particular magical weapon.  Surprisingly: certainly forensic enchanters spent six months reverse-engineering the spells used, on the assumption that they’d be able to get the manufacturers for something.  Alas, no; there’s nothing that allows it can’t be automatically sanctioned.

In fact, the original designers went to some trouble on this one to stay within current covert occult terror weapon limitations.  The basic mechanical principles of the saw itself are straightforward enough: the teeth can be bought on Etsy for all that the enchantment cares; and the enchantment itself requires a variety of unpleasant and even icky items, but nothing that would require somebody to actually break a meaningful law.  And, of course, one-handed chainsaws are not actually illegal, either.

 

But Fangsaws are still absolutely disgusting.  The enchantment allows it to cut through even steel without breaking, but the item really ‘shines’ when it comes to carving up flesh.  Besides the aforementioned growling, Fangsaws also create wounds that are hard to patch up, horribly prone to infection, and scar badly if they heal at all.  And that’s all due to the angle of the teeth, apparently! And none of is magical: no curses, no spells, not even an auspicious esoteric correspondence. The design had to have been done by some Hell’s finest artificers; it’s too much of a malignant work of art to be accidental.

 

Now, bear in mind that Fangsaws are only not kill-on-sight to own.  Anybody who uses it is going to run the risk of running afoul of whatever local, state, or national law can be reasonably twisted to prohibit said use.  And that absolutely includes situations where somebody’s using it on a person, even in self-defence. So why would dubious individuals even keep one around?  Well, it is good for carving up things, and the aesthetic appeals to a certain sort. And, you know, when it comes time to drop the mask and go full Evil Sorcerer, some people want to have a thoroughly nasty melee weapon on hand for its new minions/constructs/what have you.

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