When they ask, “Just when did Jim Treacher snap?” #rsrh

…they’re going to point to this post as the first, tragic sign that the rubber band inside his head had begun to fray.

I hope Tai Shan’s crate falls out of the plane and lands in the Pacific Ocean and sinks and he dies and everybody cries. Is that mean?

P.S. Panda Express should serve actual panda. Kung Pao Panda. And then a lightning bolt should hit the Pandas Unlimited-organized picket line.

P.P.S. Pandas are fat idiots who don’t even know how to have sex. Tai Shan should choke on some bamboo. I don’t know why I’m overcome with such virulent hatred of pandas all of a sudden. You guys need to report me to the PADL (Panda Anti-Defamation League).

Ralph Nader could not be reached for comment. OK, that’s a lie: I didn’t bother to try.

Moe Lane