Apparently the did a study that showed that being bullied was better than being ignored, which led Glenn Reynolds to reply “I dunno, I never minded being ignored, but I have a rich inner life.” Which was close to my own personal goal, growing up – I pretty much wanted to be left alone, and I was willing to do quite a bit that was odd, unusual, or even downright disconcerting in order to achieve that blessed state. Well, at least I thought that it was blessed at the time. Looking back, I could have made an effort toward sociability.
Mind you: people should not bully other people. As long as it’s understood that if you decide to mess with the bull, you should expect the horns. I’ve seen people start claiming ‘bullying’ when they really meant ‘Wow, I really underestimated how tough that guy was!”
That was my feeling as well. I would’ve LOVED to have been ignored in High School.
Fat chance, being a cop’s kid.
I learned pretty quickly that overt displays of violence were about the only way I was ever going to be left alone. And since I knew I’d get in trouble regardless, I simply stopped caring about the consequences of it.
It wasn’t until I was a Senior in high school when I actually started getting some size. Before that, I looked like a 120 lb weakling, was painfully shy, and had a reputation for being a nerd. I tended to attract bullies.
I also bucked over a ton of hay, both morning and evening, every day. I had some natural aptitude for violence, and a much wider than average ruthless streak.
I didn’t find being bullied horrible. (But God bless the little juvenile delinquent wannabes. They kept coming back for more. It was a great vent from the high school psychodrama.)
.
The flipside of growing up on a ranch Is that “ignored” is pretty much your default state. The townies can get together for a game of pick-up baseball (or other stuff) at a moments notice. You’re excluded, not out of malice, but because the game will be over by the time you bike in. But the pattern gets established, and it solidifies over time. You’re not part of the normal phone tree, and somebody has to make a deliberate effort for you to be involved in anything not planned out well in advance. This sucked worse than the bullying, but that still only puts it on the level of Algebra homework.
.
Of course, you can’t ride a horse or drive a tractor for a dozen or more hours a day without having “a rich inner life”.