Wyrmslayah
This is, of course, the famous katana that John Adams used to slay the Wyrm of Quabbin Hill — oh, yes, right. Wyrmslayah is something from the secret history. The non-boring history. The history that they only teach you in school if you’ve been good.
Actually, no, this is for everybody’s protection, really. True History is like a drug. A very addictive drug that most people can’t quite handle. This is not really a metaphor; there’s a hard upper limit to how much weirdness human societies can collectively handle before they go a little funny in the head. And a little True History goes a very, very long way. Fortunately, most people forget about it all, at about the time where ‘current events’ becomes ‘recent history.’ The gibbering insanity of today gets turned into slightly dull policy discussions of yesterday, with all of the cool death rays and eldritch energies and Abominations of Science being quietly excised in the process. Indeed, it is happening right now.
But I digress. Wyrmslayah. It kills Wyms real good, because it’s wicked sharp and can’t be melted down. That’s why there aren’t any wild Wyrms left (the civilized ones are naturally now all bankers). Or, at least there weren’t. One has shown up. Of course. And somebody’s got to go slay it. Of course. And your team’s name came up. Of course. So sign here please.
What? Oh, let whoever is best at swinging a sword be the Wielder of Wyrmslayah. We’re sure that it’ll all work out in the end; it always has, in the past. Eventually.
Now I want to hike the Quabbin Hill trail…