Item Seed: Gudmil.

Gudmil

Description: a garishly-colored paper-like bag, filled with the following items: a hunk of bright purple meat wrapped in a green-colored organic wrapping and covered in a variety of substances; a closed fluid container of about two cups or so capacity, filled with an extremely cold, bubbly liquid; a small clear box containing a disassembled mechanism of some sort; three sealed packets filled with an interesting smelling, thixotropic substance; and a medium box of fries, lightly salted.  The bag, the various containers inside it, and even the bubbles of the liquid all prominently feature an odd design that seems to be a stylized representation of the continent of Australia.

Half the researchers think ‘alternate timeline;’ the other half think ‘time travel.’  Either way, they’re pretty sure that this is what a fast food meal looks like on the other side of the Singularity.  The Gudmil has been analyzed for over six months now, and in that time its internal temperatures have not shifted, no decay at all has taken place, and indeed pieces of it seem to regenerate.  The number of physical laws the Gudmil violates is quite impressive, although to be fair it seems to violate them in the same way that our science would flatly overrule the worldview of Sir Isaac Newton.  Scientists aren’t going mad over this discovery.

But they are getting worryingly excited.  The samples they’ve pulled from the burger-analog suggest, among other things, that whoever made the Gudmil considered diseases like cancer and Alzheimers’ to be annoying dietary conditions that could be held at bay with the right food additives.  There are teams working right now to decipher and synthesize those compounds, and there are literally hundreds of possible wonder cures at this point to analyze. And that’s just the food; the containers promise to revolutionize materials science, or possibly have it discarded utterly and something new put in its place.

Or, as the team of rogue academics and engineers argued in the manifesto they left behind when they broke in and stole the Gudmil, it could all lead to scenarios where Grey Goo is the soft option (well, it was always likely to be soft, being goo and all; but never mind that right now). Which is true, but armed robbery with explosive charges is still no way to run a scientific investigation.  Besides, the way they did it was immensely rude. Even inelegant. 

So, go get that Gudmil back!  Your team should probably assume that there’ll be people with guns to stop that from happening, though.  Bring bigger guns. Do not shoot the Gudmil.

AND DO NOT EAT THE GUDMIL.  This is going to be hard, so wear gauze masks at all times.  Or, better yet, respirators.