Vegan discovers vegan pizza to be full of ham: still eats whole thing, complains.

I am trying not to laugh. I mean, the core story is interesting, if perhaps only newsworthy on a slow day: dude orders a pizza that’s touted as fitting his dietary requirements (veganism), restaurant (Domino’s) assures him repeatedly that there’s no ham on the pizza (there was), dude gets upset when he finds out what happened. That last bit’s reasonable: vegan was an actual, official option for the pizza. It’s not like the guy’s complaining because the pizza paddle or whatever wasn’t sterilized before it came into contact with another paddle that had come into contact with a sausage stromboli. Dude was given chunks of actual ham, which is pretty much the exact opposite of what he ordered. I’d be pissed off, too.

However, there’s this. (H/T: Sarah Hoyt)

But Hukins knew right away he was getting the real thing… “I felt shame and pain for the animal,” said the man, who became ill shortly after eating the entire pizza.

Italics mine. Now, I’m going to assume that this was a personal pan pizza or whatever it is that Domino’s gets up to in Australia. If it was a regular-sized pie and the guy ate the whole thing, then getting ill is going to be a natural — or, dare I say, inevitable? — consequence. But I gotta wonder: if the dude knew what was going down from the first bite, why did he take all the other ones?

And I also wonder whether Domino’s wondering the same thing. Sure, they apologized (which they should, because they screwed up the order). As for further recompense? Well, from later in the story:

Along with the apology, Hukins said he was offered a coupon for a free pizza at Domino’s. Unfortunately, it only covered the cost of a conventional pizza, and not the vegan one.

…I believe that the technical term for this is ‘chef’s kiss,’ and then you make vague little finger motions while pursing your mouth.

Moe Lane