This is going around, usually accompanied by ruefully shaken heads. Which is a fair response. Witness this amazing feat of dumbassery, in the wild and completely natural!
How is this dumb? Let me count the ways:
- First off: you think that the wife doesn’t know about the boat, chum? You really think that? No, you don’t: you’re worried that the wife knows about the boat, and she’s saving that knowledge for a special occasion*. Which may be as soon as she reads this article, hey?
- Second. Maybe she doesn’t know about the boat. Okay. Or maybe she didn’t put two and two together and have it come out equal to ‘boat’ until now. You know the first rule about keeping your mouth shut? …Exactly. You’re not anonymous here, bub. Your wife knows how you talk. She’ll figure it out.
- Third, and last, what makes this anonymous quote such a dumbass move is how you screwed over a bunch of people you don’t even know, neighbor. Somebody in responses to that tweet pointed it out: all over Brooklyn, wives are looking at their husbands and going “So. You own a boat, huh? When were you gonna tell your wife about it?” And some of those husbands would curse your name, except of course that they don’t know it. All they know is that you screwed up what they had going on.
In short, dude: what was your victory condition? What were you trying to get out of this? Because unless it was ‘Watch Brooklyn burn,’ I don’t think you’re gonna succeed here.
*Let me make it clear, by the way: you try to hide your boat from your wife, you deserve any crap she dumps on your head when she finds out. A wife is your helpmeet, mother of your children, and your partner against the world; while, and to quote the sage, a boat is a hole in the water into which you pour money. It’s not actual adultery**, sure, but it’s not healthy, smart, or really all that loving to hide that much money from your wife.
**Unless you’re [expletive deleted] the boat, of course. And if you’re [expletive deleted] the boat, I don’t wanna know.