Movies based on Barbie, Rubik’s Cube in development.

I wanna say ‘God help us’ – in fact, I will say ‘God help us’ because there’s no way that we’d get versions of either that anybody reading this would want to watch. No, really. I’ve got elevator pitches for both.

  • Rubik’s Cube. Invented behind the Iron Curtain, in a captive state whose counter-revolt was crushed decades before. A man trapped in that ensnared, grayed-out land seeks to create a teaching tool, and discovers he has made a puzzle of color and possibilities. Can it be solved?
  • Barbie. Margo Robbie starring? Then I just need five words, my friends: War crimes for the Gipper. Huh? HUH?

I think that both of these would work. Never gonna see ’em, though. Particularly the last one*.

Moe Lane

*To be fair, you can more or less pitch any stupid movie concept as ‘War crimes for the Gipper’ and it immediately gets 10x better.

3 thoughts on “Movies based on Barbie, Rubik’s Cube in development.”

  1. Sound infinitely better than the linked tease:
    “A little bit left-of-center.” Right. If it actually *registers* as “left” in Hollywood, you know Chairman Pooh Bear will be pleased with his toys.

  2. On the other hand, at least Rubik’s was a puzzle that got you to think in three dimensions and at least prompted problem solving.
    ‘A little bit left-of-center’. There are entire worlds of insanity in that statement. Who’s ‘center’? A ‘little bit’? How much politik can be injected into a movie about children’s toys comrade? As much as the Party decides.
    I never signed up to live on the other side of the wormhole in the Event Horizon universe.

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