Via Lowering the Bar, via Instapundit, this is all that you need, really:
8. [Defendant] was highly intoxicated on this date and time, and decided in his drunken stupor that it would be a good idea to shoot bottle rockets out of his anus on the [Alpha Tau Omega fraternity] deck, located on the back of the ATO house.
Variants of a certain phrase from the paragraph above appears multiple times in the legal document – indeed, it appears to have been, ahem, crammed into every place that it could conceivably fit. Can you guess which phrase it was?
Moe Lane
I am assuming, at some point on the evening in question, the defendant uttered the phrase “Hey, ya’ll, watch ‘is!!”
Bad decisions make good stories, I suppose…. 😉