Hey, they’re finally going to make a live-action version of Starship Troopers!

NO. NO, THERE WAS NO LIVE-ACTION STARSHIP TROOPERS MOVIE.  That is Communist agitprop promulgated by KGB holdouts from the old regime.  Never happened. Never. Happened.

So, hey:

EW has confirmed Columbia is currently working on a film version of writer Robert Heinlein’s 1959 science fiction novel of the same name. Despite a previous report from The Hollywood Reporter, sources close to production tell EW the film is not a remake of the 1997 action flick directed by Paul Verhoeven. No personnel from the 1997 film, which grossed $121 million worldwide, are involved.

I feel that the last line should be read with the subtext So please release our families, please: it’s a measure of just how contentious an issue that ABSOLUTELY IMAGINARY movie is that the news that the script will be written by the duo who wrote the new Baywatch will be considered to be nothing more than a minor quirk of Hollywood. Put another way… the bar for this movie is not low, on the floor, or even set into the floor.  The bar was stolen years ago and is now being used as part of a improvised shack in an unused London Underground tunnel.

Moe Lane

PS: There had better be some damned power armor in this one.

17 thoughts on “Hey, they’re finally going to make a live-action version of Starship Troopers!”

  1. By any other name it was a fine movie, funny, easy on the eyes and with a reasonable dose of T&A.
    The book would make a fine miniseries, but as a movie far to many of the background and speeches will get cut, me thinks.

    1. The book is mostly an extended meditation on Why We Fight…I think any movie would be prone to losing much of that. Hollywood probably would dislike COL Dubois’ dispensing with Marxian value theory, too.

      1. The whole point of the book (Heinlein was working on Stranger in a Strange Land, and stop and wrote this one out) is justification for US involvement in Vietnam war.

        Frankly I have no hope that they can do the book justice. For starter, can we please case actual Filipino as Juan Rico?

        1. I take some small comfort in remembering that I would have said that there would be no way Hollywood would ever greenlight Kingsman, either.

    1. A straight adaptation of the book would be interesting, admittedly. But we all know that ain’t happening.

  2. Eh, The-Film-That-Does-Not-Exist wasn’t horrible, although I haven’t watched it in a while either. I’d be shocked if they got a writer who actually loved the source material, and got that on screen.

  3. One of the more amusing things when the Rifftrax crew did a live riffing of the movie that doesn’t exist was when their Twitter feed became full of folks attacking them for “making fun of a film that was a brilliant satire.”
    .
    And my (false obviously implanted) memory of watching the movie that doesn’t exist in the theater back in 97 was getting up at the end of the film and thinking, “Wow. that sucked. Thankfully The Postman comes out later this year and it should be much better.” Thankfully they never made a movie of that book either.

  4. Well, there was a movie called “Starship Troopers”, but there has never been a Starship Troopers movie.

    1. Who was Red Mike, I would like to know because this was a hilarious review and would to know the man behind the name. That is, if you happen to know who the man behind the persona was.

  5. I still have the anime version because the Japanese at least respected the source material.

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