Category: Movies

“‘Cowboy Ninja Viking,’ starring Chris Pratt” will be sufficient, thank you.

(Via Facebook) Sometimes they know what I want to see.

Cowboy Ninja Viking doesn’t have a director that we know of, but comic book adaptation has a release date. In June of 2019, Chris Pratt will be part-Cowboy, part-Ninja, and part-Viking, playing a powerful assassin with the skills of all three warriors. He’s not the only “triplet” in the world, though, or at least that’s the case in A.J. Lieberman and Riley Rossmo‘s graphic novel.

Although it had better have a director worthy of this concept. My inner eight-year-old insists on it. Insists on it most strenuously.

Moe Lane

PS: No pirates?

Disney partially pulling out of Netflix to start own streaming service.

I’m not sure how this will play out.

Disney on Tuesday said it will be pulling its movies from Netflix and will launch a Disney streaming service of its own in 2019. It also said it will launch an ESPN streaming service early next year.

To help do all that, Disney will acquire a majority of BAMTech, the streaming technology company owned by MLBAM, the internet company owned by Major League Baseball. Disney already owned a stake in BAMTech but will pay $1.58 billion for an additional 42 percent.

Continue reading Disney partially pulling out of Netflix to start own streaming service.

The Alien: Covenant Honest Trailer.

This is kind of depressing.  I keep waiting to hear how I can go back to the Alien series… and I keep getting crushingly disappointed. Why can’t they get a good script?  From what I can tell from this trailer, Alien: Covenant would have been good if it had good material to work with*.

Moe Lane

*You can have a movie with a good script but flat-out awful cinematography.  That actually happens a lot, to the point where it should be its own category at Sundance. HEYO!

The ‘American Vandal’ trailer.

Due to the rather graphic nature of this documentary, I don’t feel comfortable putting up the trailer to American Vandal. I certainly don’t recommend watching this at work! But if you want to see the trailer, it’s here.

…I’m sorry. I’m having difficulty maintaining my composure on this one.  Sometimes, these things can really strike home, you know? Continue reading The ‘American Vandal’ trailer.

I am uncertain about the need for a Death Wish remake.

The new Death Wish is apparently coming out November 22nd, and it’s starring Bruce Willis.  I say ‘apparently’ because it’s been a troubled project, with multiple directors and whatnot. I also have to wonder: does it make sense to make a movie like that, these days? Continue reading I am uncertain about the need for a Death Wish remake.

Confirmation of Dark Tower Easter Egg. [Spoiler]

You may find it here.  Note that I’m doing a spoiler warning here, despite the fact that it won’t be a spoiler to a lot of people.  Personally, I’m happy enough if The Dark Tower itself is good and the characters are done right, but I have no quarrel with anybody who loved the books and is upset that the movie is going to screw them up like they always do.  Because that’s the default option for what happens when Hollywood grabs a book.

Of course, I dunno when I’m going to get a chance to see the movie. Pennsic’s started, and we’re experimenting with doing a weekend trip with the kids. So, obviously, that’s what I’m doing Saturday and Sunday.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN, “THE NIGHTMARE BEFORE CHRISTMAS SEQUEL” comic oh never mind.

Yeah, sure, that’s OK.

A sequel to Tim Burton’s 1993 stop-motion film The Nightmare Before Christmas is on the way, but it’s going to be in comic form, according to THR. Manga publisher Tokyopop has nabbed the rights for the film follow-up. In Nightmare Before Christmas: Zero’s Journey, we get a chance to catch up with arguably everyone’s favorite character, Zero the ghost dog, Jack Skellington’s loyal companion. The story will be about Zero’s adventures while lost in Christmas Town.

Continue reading WHAT DO YOU MEAN, “THE NIGHTMARE BEFORE CHRISTMAS SEQUEL” comic oh never mind.

Warner Brothers Wants Oscar Gold for Wonder Woman.

Well… as my father used to say: it’s good to want.

Variety reports that the studio is considering a “formidable awards-season campaign” for the film, targeting both a Best Picture nomination for the film and Best Director nomination for Patty Jenkins. To date, only four women have been nominated for the Best Director Oscar: Lina Wertmüller (Seven Beauties), Jane Campion (The Piano), Sofia Coppola (Lost in Translation), and Kathryn Bigelow (Zero Dark Thirty), with Bigelow being the only winner. Jenkins’ first film, Monster, secured Charlize Theron her own Best Actress Academy Award.

Continue reading Warner Brothers Wants Oscar Gold for Wonder Woman.

The Killer Klowns Orchestral Soundtrack Indiegogo.

I was tipped to the Killer Klowns Orchestral Soundtrack Indiegogo by Constant Reader BigGator5. Come, I will conceal nothing from you: I’ve never seen the flick.  But, well, this fellow is in some indefinable way firmly Of My People:

Tribal obligations cannot be denied. Besides, I suspect that this will indeed tickle some of my readers’ fancies, or at least their wallets.  Certainly there’s some enthusiasm about having a new Killer Klowns soundtrack kicked up a notch…

Moe Lane

PS: Deadline’s in a week.

Western Civilization decides not to fall: Dunkirk tops the Emoji movie.

OK, lemme just say: yes, I am being a snob here. I admit that.  I think that making a movie out of a bunch of the pictographs that you have on your smartphone starts out as a dumb idea, and that I am not giving the movie anything like a fair chance, and that people who liked the movie and it’s OK that they like it because who the Hell am I to judge them? might be justifiably suspicious that I am being a snob about them, too. I cop to all of this.

But it still would have been a bit personally unsettling to have one of the most fascinating movies about war in the last forty years not beat out a movie that has a talking poop icon in it, second week or no. Fortunately for my sanity, Dunkirk beat out Emoji, so I can stop being an elitist jackwagon about it.  You can’t really expect a flick like Dunkirk to hit #1 three weekends running, especially in the summer.  And, as a lot of people noted, there aren’t that many movies for kids out there in the cinemas right now.

So there’s that.