A public service announcement for lawyers.

If your client has been arrested for hitting a woman, and she sends your client this text message

Please let me know you’re okay when you get this. They assured me that you won’t be charged. They said they had to arrest you as protocol when they saw the injuries on me and they knew we had a fight. I’m so angry that they did. And I’m sorry you’re in this position. Will make sure nothing happens about this. I told them it was my fault for trying to grab your phone. I only just got out of hospital. Just call me when you’re out. I love you.

…do not release it to the media. It is not the exculpatory message that you think it is. It is a message that will tell the future jury, He sent me to the hospital over nothing and now I’m all turned around and blaming myself for getting hit. Which will suit the prosecution right down to the ground, but: what’s the victory condition, here? How does this make things better for the client?

Moe Lane

PS: I wonder if they scheduled any quick rewrites/reshoots for the second season of LOKI. If so, I also wonder if they got them done before the strike started.

The Live-Action THE LITTLE MERMAID trailer.

The trailer suggests that THE LITTLE MERMAID will not be awful. Indeed, if it existed in a vacuum I might want to watch it.

But I do not see the damn point of live-action versions of perfectly fine animated pictures. Obviously, other people disagree with me, in sufficient numbers to encourage Disney to keep making them. When it comes to such things I am quite often wrong, or at least not in the majority. That is not enough to make me want to see this out of nostalgia. I mean, shoot, I’ll just watch the original again.

Moe Lane

Bob Iger clears his voice.

The retreat is gonna be epic:

After years of Marvel and Star Wars movies and shows inundating screens big and small, Disney is putting the brakes on the output of some of its biggest franchises and brands following Bob Iger’s Feb. 8 comments that the company needs to be “better at curating” franchise content that’s “extraordinarily expensive.” Added Iger: “We want the quality on the screen, but we have to look at what they cost us.”

The Mouse was already shedding jobs and expenses, so this part is hardly new. What’s rather more important is how openly Iger’s talking about the bottom line. I suspect that LIGHTYEAR looms heavily over that particular conversation; you’d think TOY STORY-derived IP would be a stone-cold money-maker (it always has been, after all), and yet that movie didn’t get the job done*. If Disney is going to be leaning on its existing IP material for the foreseeable future, best to make sure that it can bear the weight.

Moe Lane

*I will virtuously avoid speculating as to why, having not seen the movie in question — but I’m pretty sure that the days of treating the script as the dump stat in the Disney production process have abruptly come to an end.


The More Promising GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY VOLUME 3 trailer.

Although as it is, there’s a strong possibility that everybody in GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY VOLUME 3 is gonna die. Then again: how long do these actors and actresses want to commit to eating nothing but steamed chicken, anyway? The MCU Diet must do a number on people.

Coming eventually: Guy Ritchie’s live-action HERCULES.

I’m having a complicated reaction to this.

Of director [Guy] Ritchie, [producer] Joe [Russo] said, “Guy is perfect for it because he has penchant for experimentation.” He went on to add that the live-action “Hercules” will also be a musical — and share the original’s unconventional approach…

It’s like Disney keeps trying to get me, specifically, to watch their live-action remakes. Like I’m a holdout, or something. They almost got me with the live-action MULAN, but the slave labor was just a bridge too far. But this – I dunno. Even when Guy doesn’t click, his stuff is still fun to watch.

The DISENCHANTED Disney+ trailer.

This one mostly because my wife pointed it out to me. DISENCHANTED does seem to be a handy primer on the dangers of wishes…

…particularly when you’ve just wished for a fairy-tale life, and you’re a stepmother. That could be very amusing to watch. Was the first movie any good, or even any good, when you grade it on a curve?