Bat Prime
Description: A wooden Louisville Slugger baseball bat. Anyone who sees it will immediately recognize it as being the most Louisville Slugger of a Louisville Slugger possible. Seriously, it is the Platonic Form of a Louisville Slugger; staring at it for too long makes all the shadows sharper, the air take on an awful, pitiless clarity, and your nose bleed. Generally, the wielder of Bat Prime keeps it covered with a cloth, which has to be replaced after a week because the fabric tends to crumble.