black marble sarcophagus

…I got nothing, Alexandrian Sarcophagus Water edition.

Actual headline: People want to drink the red liquid from newly-opened 4,000-year-old sarcophagus.

…Yeah, I got nothing, sorry.

Black marble sarcophagus to be opened. …Of course.

I have a radical idea about this.

… a team of archaeologists and scientists from Egypt’s money hungry Ministry of Antiquities will crack the menacing-looking thing open despite the entirety of the internet knowing that it’s a terrible idea. “We are hoping this tomb may belong to one of the high dignitaries of the period,” Ayman Ashmawy, the head of Egypt’s Ministry of Antiquities said in a statement, his pupils turning into dollar signs as he eyes the sarcophagus and licks his lips. “The alabaster head is likely that of a nobleman in Alexandria. When we open the sarcophagus, we hope to find objects inside that are intact, which will help us to identify this person and their position.”

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