Hi, Exeter city council! When the inhuman revenants come boiling out of the sewers to feast upon the defenseless souls of the living, and the countryside is bubbling and withering under the relentless onslaught of Hell on Earth – and if one of your number is actually cruising the Internet at that moment instead of doing something useful, like looking for an actual working gun* – well. Let me warn you: this idea?
Catacombs could house flu victims
Old underground burial chambers in a Devon city could be used to store the bodies of swine flu victims if the outbreak worsens, a council has said.
Yeah. Bad idea. That’s not just asking for it; that was jumping up and down and begging to be picked for the opening act of the Apocalypse. I’m surprised that you didn’t publicly mock [insert standard, trendy polytheistic deity here] and shut down a meaningless ritual that’s been performed yearly since the Middle Ages.
*Admittedly, the lack of guns made Shaun of the Dead and 28 Days Later
somewhat more riveting.