The Cars/Cars 2 Honest Trailer.

I personally liked Cars more than the Honest Trailers folks did — they didn’t hate it, mind — because it was basically a kids’ flick, and my kids loved it (and Mater Tales), so it did its duty.  But it was entertaining to listen to Announcer Guy skip ahead to Cars 2, only to spiral into a Madness Anagnorisis over thinking too much about the implications of the Cars universe.  Not least because there were a couple of points in there that I hadn’t considered yet.  Since the disquieting world-building needed to make Cars work is something I find interesting, it’s always nice to encounter a new, chilling insight.

The ‘Fifty Shades Darker’ Honest Trailer. (NSFW)

This movie… almost broke them. You can see the ragged edge of sanity in a couple of places. It is also, alas, probably not safe to watch at work, partially because it discusses various forms of fetish activities but mostly because it’s about Fifty Shades Darker and you have a reputation to protect.  This is one of those series that people inexplicably go to, but nobody ever wants to admit to it.  Or, at least, nobody I know ever wants to admit to it. Which may suggest that I have a fairly hefty unconscious social filter in place.

[pause]

Right.  Here’s the Honest Trailer.

The ‘Rogue One’ Honest Trailer.

To be honest, I didn’t have the problem with Rogue One that Honest Trailers had. I enjoyed the flick. It did what it came to do; it was a proof-of-concept by Disney that established that, sure, you could do successful movies in the Star Wars universe that weren’t revolving around the main trilogies.  We’re not talking high cinema, here, but Rogue One was pretty solid.

SPOILERS IN THE TRAILER.

The remarkably brutal “Beauty and the Beast” Honest Trailer.

And not just the obvious stuff, either.  There’s some implications about being a sentient piece of housewares that you will not consider until after you see this trailer, and you may not be all that happy about having those implications brought to your attention.  Kids’ movies can go to weird places.

 

Ain’t gonna lie: I’d watch Disney Princess Avengers.

Sans Pocahontas, of course.  She needs to be switched out with either Mulan or Cuzco; and I’d only go with Cuzco if he somehow retained his ability to transform into a llama at need. So, yeah, Mulan.  She’s easily the best tactician of the Disney princesses*, after all.

This is, of course, from the Moana Honest Trailer, which I’d talk more about except DISNEY PRINCESS AVENGERS. That drove everything else out of my head, sorry. Continue reading Ain’t gonna lie: I’d watch Disney Princess Avengers.

The somewhat brutally exasperated ‘Suicide Squad’ Honest Trailer.

I understand why, too.  I liked Suicide Squad, but DC still hasn’t gotten its stuff together yet when it comes to movies.  Which is, like Honest Trailers, I am also somewhat worried about the Wonder Woman movie.  I would very much like them to not throw away the multiple advantages that they have, going in, with that property.