The Plummer Coat
Description: a leather-like, grey-blue colored overcoat in the Western style, circa 1864. The material is slightly slick to the touch, remarkably supple for its age and apparent composition, and will turn a knife blade and/or a black powder bullet. There are no tailor’s tags on the Coat, but there is a small tattoo or defect on the outside of the coat, just below the left armpit.
Continue reading Item Seed: 1963 Tesla Smerle.1963 Tesla Smerle
Description: Similar in appearance and weight to the Webley Mk VI revolver (Webley & Scott produced the entire production run of the Tesla Smerle from 1945 to 1964), with the exception that the barrel has been filled with a crystalline substance whose composition is still classified (and also impervious to modern analysis). To reload, pop the top, pull out the capacitor, put in another. The Smerle CANNOT fire regular ammunition. Recoil is nonexistent.
Range: technically, about a mile or so.
Damage: A shot will kill a man. Three shots that hit the exact same spot will likely penetrate most tanks’ side armor. There has been at least one occasion where a Smerle has been used to shoot down a fighter jet, but that was under extremely anomalous conditions.
Shots: 6 per capacitor.
Recharge time: the capacitor recharges at the rate of one shot per hour, assuming that somebody has enough electricity to power a city block at hand.
The Greatcoat
Description: a Soviet Army greatcoat, circa 1990. It is worn but in good condition, with one notable exception: the muddy imprints of two booted feet can be seen on its back. The imprints cannot be removed by any sort of cleaning. Powers: Anyone who wears the Greatcoat is automatically perceived as being a sincere adherent of Communism, as long as he or she isn’t seen doing anything that obviously suggests otherwise.
GMB 13-14
(General Metaphysics Military Dowsing Rod)
Yes, the ‘dowsing’ in General Metaphysics’s ‘GMB 13-14 Military Dowsing Rod’ means what you think it means. It is remarkably similar in form to the ADE 651 ‘bomb detector;’ in fact, it’s a deliberate rip-off in appearance, specifically designed to make people think that it’s a regular ADE 651. It’s likewise used like an ADE 651. To operate, insert a card with a sample of the substance that you want to detect while holding the GMB 13-14 at right angles to your body. After a few seconds, the GMB 13-14 will start tracking the substance on the card. It is, in other words, identical to the ADE 651, with one pertinent exception: unlike the ADE 651, it actually works.
Old Platonic
You just can’t get this booze normally. Old Platonic has to be imported from a particular plane of existence, where all the real things dwell in eternal perfection. More accurately: the booze is imported into that plane of existence, kept there for a second, and then pulled right back out. Wait too long, and the booze simply explodes when re-exposed to this common world of toil and strife. But assuming that everything instead works out properly, congratulations! You now own a bottle of Old Platonic, which is guaranteed to be the ultimate [adjective] booze.
Redi-Lunches
Redi-Lunches are self-contained, prepackaged kid’s lunches, of a type familiar to parents; they have a variety of proteins, a couple of carbohydrate options, an actually reasonable amount of vitamins, some sugars for dessert, and flavored powders for mixing with the included water bottle. They are a little bit less expensive than their major competitor, a fair bit more nutritious, and surprisingly tasty. If Redi-Lunches were more aggressively advertised, they’d probably dominate the market. Only, the company that makes them doesn’t want to do that.
Why? Well, Redi-Lunches are produced by Pavise Foods, which is a spin-off from Pavise Strategic Solutions, which is the use-name of the corporation that is the US military’s primary contractor in counter-occult technologies. Don’t worry, Pavise is on the side of the angels. Literal angels; they’re used to monitor compliance with the contracts, on both sides. You’d be amazed at how few disputes arise when arbitration is handled by an angel with a flaming sword.
Fragments of THE Map
THE Map being a map made by the veritable Creator; it legendarily could show the whole of Creation, right down to the subatomic level (not that the people retelling the legends would put it that way, of course). If it ever truly existed, THE Map is either long-since destroyed, or transcended, or it’s actually Creation itself now and we’re all just living on its surface. However, there are still small pieces left. They’re oddly invulnerable to damage; every so often, a piece will neatly detach itself from the main Fragment. And every so often, two Fragments can be combined into one larger one.
The El Dorado Saddle
Description: a handsome, hand-tooled, knot-fringed leather saddle in the charro style. The saddle looks to be roughly twenty years old: well-used, well-maintained, and in very good repair. The El Dorado Saddle boasts an interesting, seemingly abstract set of attached silver ornaments, several semi-precious stones arranged in an interesting pattern, and a somewhat obscure six-line poem in archaic Spanish etched into its underside.
To mangle the philosopher: this saddle has gotten more good men killed than Cecil B. DeMille. And a powerful lot of bad ones, too. The Saddle has shown up in any number of murders, bushwackings, hijackings, and at least one flat-out massacre: once it gets in somebody’s hands, things progress inevitably to the point where the Saddle is later found, carefully packed away, in the skeletal arms of yet another poor damned fool who tried to find a golden city in the Mexican desert.
2006 Chrysler Apocalypse
Description: Picture a gun-metal grey SUV with six solid wheels, dedicated hardpoints on the sides, an empty turret on top, and a space for a rear gunner. The ‘windows’ are metal with vision slits, the vehicle itself is immune to machine gun fire, and it seats ten fairly uncomfortably. Length: 15 feet. Weight: 10 tons. Top speed: 30 mph.
Pallencia Codex
Description: 48 vellum pages bound in black leather and wood. Each page (one-sided) shows a naked human form, drawn in rather good style, with one of a set of intricate multi-colored patterns (24 in all) superimposed on top. Interestingly, each pattern is seen twice; once for a male figure, and again for a female one. There is no text, but suggestive, half-meaningful patterns appear if a page is viewed under an ultraviolet light. Unlabeled, and tentatively dated as being from the 13th century AD, but the book is in almost unbelievably good condition to be that old.
The Pallencia Codex would be considered a fake, if only it hadn’t happened to have been discovered last year in an archeological dig run by a team of unquestioned professionalism and sterling reputation. Still, it’s in far too good shape to have been buried for over eight centuries. The leather even smells kind of new.
