item – Page 12 – Moe Lane

Item Seed: Applesauce Ink.

Applesauce Ink

‘Ink’ may not be exactly the right word: perhaps ‘paint?’ Basically, there are several classes of spells (divination, warding, and exorcism) which work noticeably better if the sigils and lines used to express the spell physically are drawn or written in Applesauce Ink. There aren’t any spells out there that require Applesauce Ink, and the bonus to cast isn’t exactly obvious: it’s more like that using Applesauce Ink helps make up deficiencies elsewhere. If a spellcaster is in a hurry, or working with substandard materials, or under stressful conditions, well, an apple a day keeps spell failures away.

Item Seed: Ring-Suits.

Ring-Suits – Google Docs Download

Ring-Suits

Description: imagine a spacesuit made up of a series of snug but not skin-tight blue-grey-green rings that resemble hardened ooze. Bits of metal and plastic are interspersed at various joints.

These biological spacesuits are perhaps a bit physically unaesthetic, but Ring-Suits are the gear of choice for anybody mining a planetary system’s Oort Cloud. They’re ‘biological’ entities that originated on comets: a ‘wild’ Ring can function in a temperature range of just above absolute zero to about 120 degrees Fahrenheit. Above that point, they go into hibernation indefinitely, and can survive temperatures just below that of boiling water. Rings instinctively stack one on top of each other, effectively forming an impenetrable barrier that produces a hollow internal space that can be slowly warmed via waste heat (which the Rings then use to maintain life functions).

Item Seed: YourConspiracy.exe

Conspiracy dot exe – Google Docs Download

YourConspiracy.exe

Oddly, YourConspiracy.exe is easy to find on the Internet. Most public domain software download sites will have a copy; it’ll run on most PCs. The program seems like it was designed with Windows 7 in mind.

Using YourConspiracy.exe is merely a matter of starting it up, then navigating through the five hundred, twenty three question survey that it gives you. These questions start out intrusive (full name, aliases, credit history, blood type, bank routing number) and only get worse; later questions range from ‘What is your favorite color combination?’ to ‘How many people do you think you could order be killed before their faces started haunting you at night?,’ and seem to draw on a database based on your previous answers. Most people don’t make it past the bank account questions; virtually nobody answers every question sincerely and truthfully.

Item Seed: Homelite XL-23 “Lincoln” Marine Chainsaw

Homelite XL-23 “Lincoln” Marine Chainsaw – Google Docs Download

Homelite XL-23 “Lincoln” Marine Chainsaw

Not ‘Marine’ in the sense of ‘used at sea;’ ‘Marine’ in the sense of ‘militarized, larger version of the venerable Homelite XL-12.’ And it’s definitely a mass-produced military chainsaw, manufactured around 1975 AD or so. The XL-23 is made of extremely rugged, sturdy materials, with as few moving parts as possible. It also runs on anything from gasoline to distilled alcohol with surprisingly good results, and is surprisingly light for its fairly large size. The XL-23 can be operated with one hand, and there are indeed connectors that would be compatible with the ability to install it as a hand prosthetic.

Item Seed: Shog-Milk.

Shoggoth Omelets – Google Docs Download

Shog-Milk

You’d have to be a scholar in Ancient American — or else six to twelve standard Terran years, and a devotee of the Aunt Asenath’s Fun-Time Beanstalk television* show to boot — to know that ‘Shog’ means ‘shoggoth.’ Yes, the future has those, now. Somebody in the 24th Century came across the concept during one of that era’s neo-archaic craze, and they thought that it’d be cool to genetically engineer actual shoggoths out of slime molds, or something. Just between you and me, people in the Gory-Twenty-Foury could get really, really weird. At least, it seems that way to their descendants, two centuries later.

Item Seed: Suspicious Minds: Superstitions and American Counterculture During the Cold War.

Suspicious Minds_ Superstitions and American Counterculture During the Cold War – Google Docs Download

Suspicious Minds: Superstitions and American Counterculture During the Cold War

Description: 300 pages long, softbound cover. No cover photo. Published in 2017 by Routledge Publishing. DO NOT READ CONTENTS.

Item Seed: Eau de Mauvias Choix

Eau de Mauvais Choix – Google Docs Download

Eau de Mauvais Choix

Eau de Mauvais Choix is the première Infernal perfume. It’s distilled from only the finest, most refined souls whose poor life choices rebounded in a manner that managed to wreck everybody else’s lives around them, too. Hell’s Le Nez won’t even look at a prospective soul as possible raw materials unless it managed to drag at least twenty other mortals down with it when its mortal comeuppance finally came. And, at that, ninety-nine percent of the souls are permanently used up in the process.

Item Seed: Salt Zombis.

Salt Zombis – Google Docs Download

Salt Zombis

As everybody knows (for given values of ‘everybody’): if you’re facing a Caribbean Voudon-style zombi, and you give it salt, the taste of it suddenly reminds the zombi that it’s dead (or drugged, or possessed, or whatever the cultural meme is this week*). And that shuts the zombi down. Which is great! Wonderful! Well done, ye fearless counter-occult specialists.

Only, what happens to the salt afterward?

Item Seed: Panasonic Energy Posifilter Deluxe

Panasonic Energy Posifilter Deluxe – Google Docs Download

Panasonic Energy Posifilter Deluxe

Description: it looks like a slightly ungainly portable electric air filter, with a full 1970s aesthetic in display. It smells, faintly, of ozone and burned dust. The Posifilter runs on standard American house current, and has the general feel of something built during about 1976 or so (one of the dates found on the casing). Needless to say, nobody at Panasonic has ever heard of this item.

Item Seed: Electric Scooter Font.

Electric Scooter Font – Google Docs

Electric Scooter Font

Why the name ‘Electric Scooter?’ Because if they called it ‘Gematrix’ or ‘Philosopher’s Stony’ or ‘Enochian Bold’ or something else like that then Every. Single. Occultist. Wannabe in the world would be using the damned font and making it difficult for actual sorcerers to work. Anybody who can derive benefit from the Electric Scooter font will have been told about the code name already; anybody who hasn’t, doesn’t need to know about it anyway. Continue reading Item Seed: Electric Scooter Font.