Tweet of the Day, Simone Biles Is Devastatingly Cute Here edition.

And tiny. I mean, yes, 4’8″ isn’t really Halfling levels, but dear Lord but that catcher just towered over her. I blinked at the graphic demonstration of her height, there.

Moe Lane

PS: Note that that woman probably has more muscle weight than I do. I also couldn’t do that twist if I was playing it on a video game. Just to be clear, and everything.

Simone Biles gets fourth gold medal, fifth Olympic one.

Women’s floor exercise, and I believe that that will do it for Simone Biles. She had a heck of an Olympics, didn’t she? …And subtract one small bobble and it would have been five golds instead of four golds, and one bronze. Such are the vagaries of fluctuations in the space-time continuum, apparently.

I should also note the other four members of the American ‘Final Five” women’s gymnastic team: Gabby Douglas (1 gold), Laurie Hernandez (1 gold, 1 silver), Madison Kocian (1 gold, 1 silver), and team captain Aly Raisman (1 gold, 2 silver).  That’s a really nice score to rack up, particularly since only two people per country could compete in the individual event finals. And by ‘really nice’ I mean ‘impressive as hell.’ Thanks, team.


Simone Biles takes bronze in balance beam.

Which is a pity.  On the other hand: Sanne Wevers (gold, Netherlands) and Laurie Hernandez (silver, USA) probably aren’t complaining about them both getting to join a fairly exclusive club today.  Which is, of course, the club of people who have beaten Simone Biles in a gymnastics contest when Biles was in full possession of her powers. That’s not a bad brag, really. Certainly I couldn’t do it.

As to the overall score… we’re continuing to romp. And we’re going to start running out of Olympics, soon.  Dramatic, this is not. Pleasant, but not dramatic.

Simone Biles demolishes so-called ‘jinx’ with 2nd gold medal in gymnastics.

Apparently, there was some sort of rule that gymnasts who were reigning women’s all-around world champions don’t get Olympic gold in that event. Simone Biles demolished that today: which makes sense, because it wasn’t a rule at all: it was a statistical quirk. At this point, with two gold Ms. Biles has won the Olympics; all that remains is to see how many more she can bring home to Texas.

Watch this video fast, before they take it down:

I’m actually following the Olympics vicariously this year!

Not watching any of the events, but: we’re ahead of the People’s Republic of China, which pleases me greatly.  Also, I am hearing that American Simone Biles is well on her way to mega-Olympic stardom in the field of gymnastics this year, which maybe I will try to catch if I can. It’s nice to be present for once-in-a-generation athletes, which Ms. Biles apparently is.  Besides, the team apparently kicked Russia’s zhopa today, which also pleases me greatly. Can’t say I miss the Cold War, but the international sporting events were more entertaining when we were up against countries worth humiliating.