Tag: st patrick’s day

:sigh: Fine. Like Canute, I see the futility of commanding the sea not to rise.* Just try not to get too drunk tonight and stay off the damn roads. …That’s directed at people who aren’t long-time readers. I know y’all who are, are too smart to do something that dumb.

*You will be utterly unsurprised to discover that there is some argument over whether Canute knew he couldn’t command the seas, or if he even ever tried to command the seas at all. The whole damn universe is waiting for us to discover the chronoscanner…

What? You think that I’m going to go out into that pseudo-Hibernian drunken hellhole tonight?  Not a chance, macushla, not a chance.

Although I will unbend enough from my usual cranky status re this holiday to allow that it may be acceptable to have a Happy St. Patrick’s Day today.  You know. If you do it up classy, and everything.

I’ve ranted about it before, and will do so again. But I’ll say this: it’s even more annoying when you can’t actually have a beer because it’ll react badly with your current prescription.  The ironic part is, I’m not even a drinker anymore. But when you can’t have one, it gets annoying…

Still, stay safe on the roads tonight.

I understand that people inexplicably like this holiday, so fine. But I will not wear green, I have no intention of eating any sort of amusing ethnic food, and while I wouldn’t mind a beer my wife’s on a business trip this week so that ain’t happening. We’re just gonna go through the day and thank God it’s snowing out which may cut down on the faux-Irishmen wandering around, vomiting.

:air-quotes” “Faith.” And “begorrah.”

Moe Lane

PS: Pretty much purebred Boston Irish Catholic (well, my parents were from Boston), actually. Which is why I hate St. Patrick’s Day, frankly.

 

A holiday that I loathe with every fiber of my virtually homogenous Irish-American soul.  Just like my buddy Matt, who is also pretty authentically Irish-American, and whose recipe for a proper Irish drink stands in stark contrast to the viridian* piss that will be all too available today.  Even if Matt’s drink is a little elaborate.

Matt also commissioned a song from me, so let me inflict it upon you.  It made my wife the fellow-bard wince and my RS colleague & buddy Neil Stevens adopt it as a banning video, so I would have to say that it was successful.

Happy St. Patrick’s Day.  STAY OFF THE DAMNED ROADS.

Moe Lane

*The hell, Firefox.  It’s a damned word.  You know ‘squamous,’ but not ‘viridian.’  Illiterate web-based spellchecker…

…hate St. Patrick’s Day almost as much as I do.  And I consider myself perfectly entitled to do so, seeing as I am almost completely of Irish descent.

But we’ve had that rant before.

All right, let’s get this over with.  I’m 7/8ths Boston Irish Catholic, and I hate St. Patrick’s Day for precisely that reason.  It’s a gala day of crude ethnic stereotypes mixed with people who dramatically show that they cannot handle their liquor: the first is excusable enough, but the latter grates on my soul.  Particularly since the people who cannot handle their liquor typically drink horrifically bad beer that is often green.

Beer should not be green.  If it comes out green, then you have done something wrong and you should not drink it.  If you have dyed it green, you are a bad person and the beer should be taken away from you for its own protection.

That’s it.  You can go back to wearing those stupid hats now.

Moe Lane