Your long-desiccated scandal of the day: Warren Harding’s (R*) love child revealed!

Sorry, wahat was that? You don’t care?

Genetic analysis has proved that President Warren G. Harding fathered a child out of wedlock with long-rumored mistress Nan Britton, according to AncestryDNA, a division of Ancestry.com.

Britton set off a Jazz Age scandal when she went public with her tale of forbidden love in the White House, boldly publishing her story in a 1927 best-selling memoir, “The President’s Daughter.” But historians long questioned her claims, and Harding defenders vilified her as a liar for nearly 90 years.

Well, apparently somebody still does, if ‘Harding defenders’ are still a thing. No, I don’t know why, either. I just work here, man.

Moe Lane

*”NAME! THAT! PARTY!!!!!” …What? It seemed like an obvious joke.