Mar
08
2019

My mini-review of Captain Marvel.

Short version: it was fine. Not Winter Soldier fine, but I wasn’t expecting that. I expected popcorn movie, and I got popcorn movie.

Slightly longer version: this is a perfectly good superhero origin popcorn movie that presented itself in a perfectly nice manner. Good casting all around — you may be shocked to discover that Brie Larson actually has more than the three facial expressions provided to her by the trailer — and the battle scenes were nifty, in that special 1990s way. A lot of Nineties in this movie, actually, and it was all perfectly fine.

You’ll notice that I’m not gushing, because Captain Marvel is not a movie that I can really gush over. The film had to tread a fine line: the idea is for Captain Marvel to kick ass, — but if this character is so kickass, then why wasn’t she there to pound Thanos into the ground? I think that they managed to pull it off (while achieving tactical surprise with the plot), but in the end it’s a popcorn movie. The special effects are remarkably good and the film was excellent at inserting various Checkov’s-Items into the narrative, but it’s not exactly revolutionary and that’s perfectly all right. Sh*t Blows Up Good. Rocking.

Anyway. I liked the movie, there’s no reason for anybody to not see it/see it, it’s going to do fine in the box office, so the Internet should find something else to get all het up over. And I don’t mean anybody likely to read this, either. All of you are fine; it’s the people who need a new venue for The Airing Of The Grievances that annoy me.

Moe Lane

PS: If you do not want to see Captain Marvel, I heartily recommend that you go see Alita: Battle Angel instead. Hell, go see it anyway, because Alita deserves a sequel and isn’t likely to get one at this point*. Watch both, if you like. That’s what I did, and I think that it all worked out well enough for me in the end.

*[UPDATE]: I think that I first read this suggestion somewhere else, actually. Forbes, maybe? Yeah, Forbes. Sorry, I’m tired today. I’m starting to think that I’ve been building up a little too much sleep debt this week.

15 Comments

  • bensdad00 says:

    Alita needs money and Marvel don’t. So buy a ticket for Battle Angel and who cares what that’s you walk into.

    • Moe_Lane says:

      That works, too. Strictly speaking, Alita was a better movie, though. And God knows people complain enough about not getting anything really new on the big screen these days.

  • 1_rick says:

    Already seen Alita.

    I happened to look at Box Office Mojo this morning–Alita didn’t do well in the US: $74M take on $170M budget. That would normally be a disaster, but it has made $285M in the rest of the world. That’s a good take and ought to be enough to justify a sequel.

    • bensdad00 says:

      Two comments –
      One, even if you’ve already seen Alita, you can still buy another ticket and …..go wherever ‘accidentally’.
      Second – and on a wild tangent from from foreign sales $ for Alita – there was a series of vaguely fantastical mystery thrillers written in the 70’s and 80’s centered on a former circus dwarf and his ex MP brother in New York City. Ridiculous fun. BUT they never really caught on, so the final volume in the series was only ever published in France. In French. And has never been legally imported or translated. Which in a roundabout way leads to the question – how much material is out there only in foreign markets that we never hear about, just waiting for the right marketing or promotion to catch on here?

      • acat says:

        To your question? *TONS*.
        .
        Seriously, just about everything Hollywood’s done since the ’60s that isn’t a remake of something Hollywood already did (we need *how many* editions of “A Star Is Born”?) is a remake of something foreign.
        .
        “The Ring”? Based on a Japanese horror film.
        “Magnificent Seven”? Based on a (arguably better) Japanese samurai film.
        .
        IMDB has a list of “this is based off that” ..
        https://www.imdb.com/list/ls000343382/
        .
        Hollywood has no real talent for anything other than remakes .. and never really did.
        .
        Mew

        • Belcatar says:

          And “Battle Beyond the Stars” is a Sci-Fi remake of a Western remake of that same Kirosawa movie. If you want to see a baaaaaaaad film, Battle Beyond the Stars is good choice.

          Also, Star Wars was inspired by Kirosawa’s
          “Hidden Fortress”.

          “Days of Thunder” is a remake of “Top Gun”, but instead of an F-14, they put Tom Cruise in a slower and far less maneuverable vehicle and replaced Kelly McGillis with Nicole Kidman.

          People only pretend they want something new.

          • acat says:

            Ah, but I *do* want something new .. or, at least, something that is less … used.
            .
            Mew

  • bensdad00 says:

    Grr. Allow me to rephrase. I know they steal ideas from overseas all the time. I found the Mango instance interesting because its an American work that continued exclusively abroad after dying out here. It’d be like learning there are 7 seasons of Brazilian Firefly, or 3 Czech Buckaroo Bonsai movies.

    • nicklevi86 says:

      *Looks up with pleading eyes*
      .
      Are….. Are there seven seasons of Brazilian Firefly?

  • Luke says:

    There is a very good reason not to see it.
    .
    I will not spend my scarce entertainment budget on people who sneer at me.
    And it doesn’t really matter if it’s a nobody like this Larson chick, Steven fricking King, or the publisher Tor.

  • Finrod says:

    I admit to being partial to the review at NRO, which can be summarized in three words: “.. waiting for Gadot.”

    Though I was amused at the comment that Brie Larson should have played Rogue, because she sucked the life out of Carol Danvers.

  • Jon says:

    I liked it enough to see it twice. YMMV

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