Blame this.
Anser Reformabit
Despite its name, this spell works on any sort of poultry. When cast, it transforms the victim into a variety of carnivorous dinosaur, depending on the rough size of the poultry in question:
- Duck-sized: Microraptor (How it kills you: swoops down from the sky and goes for the eyes)
- Chicken-sized: Hesperonychus (How it kills you: swarms with about a dozen other Hesperonychus and worries its prey to death)
- Goose-sized:Compsognathus (How it kills you: stalks from the trees and leaps from behind)
- Swan-sized: Velociraptor (How it kills you: standard disembowelment with its sickle-claw)
- Emu-sized: Troodon (How it kills you: inventively. Usually with sticks and sometimes a handy vine or two)
- Ostrich-sized: Deinonychus (How it kills you: RAWR [chomp])
Please note that this spell was created by antisocial and notably vicious necromancers, not paleobiologists or paleontologists. This means that the dinosaurs created are explicitly classic, emaciated, scaly Gigeresque killing machines, not fluffy roosters with teeth. ‘Fortunately,’ the spell only lasts about 4 hours – at which point the new dinosaur suddenly explodes, handily removing the evidence and possibly causing even more damage. This would be traumatic to see, assuming that there is any trauma left to experience after fighting vicious, bloodthirsty, and hungry dinosaurs for four hours. Also note: this spell offers exactly no protections to the caster, which is why it’s often cast with some sort of delay in the activation of it.
All in all: this spell is only compatible with evil (or Evil) characters or situations.