Seazing The Day!
Unlock Your Inner Powers Using Ancient Kootulu Wisdom
Seazing The Day! Unlock Your Inner Powers Using Ancient Kootulu Wisdom is scheduled to be published some time next fall. It’s a fairly breezy self-help book, about one hundred and fifty pages long, and was written by one ‘Lavinia Gilman’ (the helpful author photo on the back shows a fairly attractive redhead with no signs of Deep One taint). It is almost offensively banal in its message; the book features the usual combination of obvious practical suggestions and pseudo-psychological pablum. In this case, Seazing The Day! Takes a distinctly nautical theme, promising ‘deep insights from inside your personal depths’ and talking about visualizing ‘briny companions on your descent into wisdom’ and so forth. And it’s probably going to hit the bestseller list, God help us all.
Important note: this book is for worlds where there is no actual Cthulhu Mythos, there is magic (but you will find none of that in this book), and there is also some sort of supernatural regulatory structure. Said structure is not amused right now, because somebody’s making sure that this book gets published. Strings are being pulled where they don’t have to be; influence is being spent, and in such a way as to attract attention. Which is ridiculous, because there’s no reason for it. Seazing The Day! Has all the supernatural or esoteric oomph of a non-magical rock. Nobody cares if it gets published; and even if they did, it’s a free country, right? …Yes, even the Secret Masters can care about that sort of thing. Or at least understand the long-term value of ‘quiet enjoyment’ and ‘don’t pick at it if you want it to heal.’
So. Clearly something is going on. Perhaps it’s a scam. Perhaps it’s a scheme. Perhaps it’s a diversion. Or, indeed, perhaps it’s a trap. Which is why investigating the situation has been delegated to people who specialize in kicking open traps from the inside. Isn’t it wonderful to have a good reputation?
A glyph of power will be drawn by the author’s release tour.
.
This is part of a planned sequence of books that when taken into a certain library’s collection and put in the proper place on the shelves will complete some eldritch rune to expose unsuspecting people to the dark arts.
.
The author is a visitor from another world who is playing a prank on the Secret Masters.
.
Okay, I’m out of ideas.
If you cut the book at various depths, the ink and blank spaces form the glyphs of various spells.
.
The author plans to “ironically” start a cthulhu cult complete with “ironic” blood sacrifices.
.
The secret masters are wrong about the nature of magic and the existence of eldritch abominations from beyond the stars.
.
A rival group of Secret Masters is trying to push the current lot out.
.
Bees (think Gavotte) are behind it.
This book isn’t esoteric on its own, but if you use every other word and combine them with the backwards appendix of another book (not “related” but mentioned in this book’s footnotes) it has potential for X. X = spell-breaking, demon-summoning, death spells, etc
If you play the audiobook (read by the author) backwards it awakens the essence of even the most mundane person.