Category: Movies

Ain’t gonna lie: I’d watch Disney Princess Avengers.

Sans Pocahontas, of course.  She needs to be switched out with either Mulan or Cuzco; and I’d only go with Cuzco if he somehow retained his ability to transform into a llama at need. So, yeah, Mulan.  She’s easily the best tactician of the Disney princesses*, after all.

This is, of course, from the Moana Honest Trailer, which I’d talk more about except DISNEY PRINCESS AVENGERS. That drove everything else out of my head, sorry. Continue reading Ain’t gonna lie: I’d watch Disney Princess Avengers.

I am suspicious of the Last Jedi trailer going around.

I suspect it to be leaked footage; the clip here doesn’t feel like an official release.

[pause]

I’m of several minds on this sort of thing, honestly.  On the one hand, putting out leaked footage like this is stealing stuff that doesn’t belong to you.  On the other hand, Disney fully expects to make banks* on The Last Jedi when it comes out and trailers like this aren’t going to hurt that bottom line one bit.  And on the gripping hand: if you’re going to take stuff that doesn’t belong to you and put it up on the Internet, try to match the technical skill of the people that you’re stealing from. The various audio bits are muddled and getting in the way of each other.

Moe Lane

*It’s already a given that they’re going to make bank, singular.  Their expectations are bank, plural.

Welp, they released another ‘The Assignment’ trailer.

And, well.  What I said earlier still applies.  However, you should watch it, if only to hear Sigourney Weaver say the immortal line “I’ve liberated you from the macho prison you’ve been living in.”  Not to mention dressing like a woman wearing a suit in Fallout 4. I can’t WAIT for this movie to get noticed more widely.

Indiana Jones V scheduled for 2019.

Starring Harrison Ford and with Spielberg directing. Comes out in 2019. Consider this… the dark side of having the Mouse expand inexorably into, as Slashfilm put it, “Star Wars and Marvel and Pixar and everything else that you love.”

If there is a bright side to any of this, it’s that Indiana Jones V would absolutely have to be a bridge movie to whatever new franchise Disney has planned.  Slashfilm suggests one last hurrah; my wife argues that it makes more sense to Old Indy being used as a framing device to spin a tale about New Indy, back in the day.  If this last part sounds like something out of Young Indiana Jones, well: it worked, didn’t it? …Sort of.  At least, it only really failed because of the lack of money.  And the Mouse is typically happy to spend a ton of money if it means getting a ton and a half back.

The Buffy the Vampire Slayer TV show turns 20 this week.

As opposed to the Buffy the Vampire Slayer movie, which I quite ecumenically also enjoy and like. It is difficult to hate a comedy with Donald Sutherland and Rutger Hauer in it, although Joss Whedon certainly seems ready to give it the old college try.  At any rate: the Buffy show has been around now for twenty years, and we are all old.

On the plus side: this is a great deal for the TV series. Almost suspiciously so, in fact. What’s the catch, I wonder?

The (probably forgettable) Phoenix Forgotten trailer.

First, let’s take a gander at the Phoenix Forgotten trailer. GeekTyrant thinks that it’s yet another ‘found footage’ flick (UFO edition), and I can get behind that:

But you know what I’d like to see? I’d like to see one of these flicks where the Big Reveal of the alien or the monster or what have you is the start of the film. I bet that you could come up with some way to rationalize found footage of the protagonists being stuck in the alien ship or whatever and trying to figure out what the heck is going on.  …But I guess that that’s hard to budget.

So, tomorrow. Kong: Skull Island, or The Great Wall?

Normally I’d just say Kong: Skull Island, but Howard Tayler actually thought The Great Wall was all right and there’s something to be said for seeing stuff like that on a big screen. I can’t really do two films in a week anymore, and if I do Kong tomorrow it’s going to be 3D IMAX (not exactly by choice: that’s the only venue showing it in the morning), which is gonna be expensive right there.  Thoughts?

The ‘Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales’ trailer.

So, supposedly Dead Men Tell No Tales is scheduled to be the last Pirates of the Caribbean movie. No, really, at 1:51 they claim this to be The Final Adventure. …I may be ready for that to happen, although I expect that I’ll go see this in theaters anyway.  I have grown comfortable with this franchise’s limitations, and I still laugh at some of the antics.  A weakness, I’m sure.

Moe Lane

PS: There’s one bit with the villain’s CGI face that they should really fix, though.