I realized that the problem with the Lucas Coltrane story I started was that I hadn’t told the previous story. My bad.
Hamilton Theater
Liberty Lair (Philadelphia, PA)
Thursday, May 30, 2531 AD
Lucas Coltrane was in fact rather good at pretending to be a connoisseur of classical theater. He also knew what he liked, and this performance was not it. According to the playbill, the first performance of Azz and Hastur: Mi-Go, You-Go was over four hundred and fifty years ago, in the Middle American Republic era. It also claimed that the series was beloved by millions of Old Americans; reading between the lines, Lucas suspected that the average age of those fans was twelve. Certainly there were enough pratfalls and slapstick on the stage to satisfy the heart of any child, if not necessarily the adults trapped in this theater.
He contemplated the giant suite that overlooked the stage, and reminded himself that it didn’t matter if he was entertained by this garish display. The Great Wyrm of Philadelphia’s whim was what ruled here. If she wanted Azz and Hastur, then Azz and Hastur she would get. And if the Wyrm wanted to spend a Thursday evening watching it, then every person out there who wanted to be seen sucking up to her would have to buy an expensive ticket for the privilege, too. The Great Wyrm never missed a trick when it came to getting a cut of everybody else’s discretionary spending.
I admire the grift, Lucas admitted to himself as he got up for the intermission. The nice thing about Old American classical theater was how short the performances typically were. Even if getting in here did empty my belt pouch. If everything went well, that would be money well spent.
