Tag: bears

Tweet of the Day, Get Away From The Mama Bear With Cubs, Ye Daft Idjit edition.

Sometimes I’m torn.

Continue reading Tweet of the Day, Get Away From The Mama Bear With Cubs, Ye Daft Idjit edition.

SHOOT. THE. BEAR.

This NYT article about how to handle human/bear interactions is pretty grimly determined not to discuss the obvious answer of what to do when bears encroach on human settlements, so let me do it for the New York Times: bear in your kitchen?  Shoot the bear.  Bear in your suburban garden?  Shoot the bear.  Bear looks at you funny?  Shoot the bear.

Bears aren’t dumb.  They’ll get the message.  Which is, bluntly: we evolved into fully-sentient tool-users and you didn’t.  That means that we get the nice bits of real estate and you get whatever we feel like letting you have.  Don’t like it?  Sucks to be you, ursine.

Via Instapundit.

Moe Lane

PS: DON’T FEED THE DAMNED BEARS, EITHER.  That only confuses them.

#rsrh Dealing with a bear.

I don’t know whether this guy has nerves of steel, or is just a really good actor: I suspect that the former, judging from the lack of panicked gusts of breath or shaky camera footage.  Either way, impressive.

Mind you – and no offense to Joy – but even a black bear is unpredictable. Sometimes it wants to say ‘Hi’ and have a beer. Sometimes it wants to rip your face off. Sometimes it wants to rip your face off, then say ‘Hi’ and have a beer. Because it’s a bear.

Moe Lane

PS: Always a good excuse to repost this one.

It was the pudding that got them.

That’s what I’m betting, at least.

A bear killed two militants after discovering them in its den in Indian-administered Kashmir, police say.

Two other militants escaped, one of them badly wounded, after the attack in Kulgam district, south of Srinagar.

The militants had assault rifles but were taken by surprise – police found the remains of pudding they had made to eat when the bear attacked.

Bears like pudding.

(pause)

Well, I like pudding, and I think that it was Rita Rudner who famously mentioned that men live like bears with furniture, so I think that it follows from there that bears like pudding.

Moe Lane

Non-aggressive bears non-aggressively invading Aspen.

[UPDATE]: Welcome, Instapundit readers.

Today’s “local bears collectively realize that people don’t shoot them on sight anymore” story comes to us from Aspen, Colorado (and via Drudge). They’re up to ten times the usual number of sightings, with a proportionate increase of well-meaning, yet dumb, comments from mystic environmentalists:

“Bears are emblematic of the Aspen community,” said Aspen resident Mark Goodman. “They are wild, beautiful, fabulous creatures that are awesome, yet you keep your distance … the beauty and the fear is what makes it so fascinating.”

Actually, they’re quarter-ton omnivores who fairly quickly work out that those metal cylindrical things usually contain a lot of perfectly edible food, that people keep around a good number of easily-caught animals, and that for some reason it takes a while for humans these days to start shooting off the boom-sticks in response to a black bear taking advantage of the first two points.  Not that I have anything against bears, but romanticizing them is a bad idea.  If for no other reason than because romanticizing them leads to this kind of cognitive dissonance:

Black bears tend to be timid and are generally not aggressive.

[snip]

In Aspen, three people this summer have been attacked in their own homes, including Maureen Hirsch. A bear came into her house through locked French doors.

I’d love to know what ‘aggressive’ even means in this context. The bear has a switchblade?

Moe Lane