It really is weird how COCAINE BEAR got green-lighted. It should have been, because it was a fun flick, but since when does that matter? – Also, Ryan George had even more fun than usual doing this episode. I guess when you have a movie that’s this insane from the start, you can cut loose a little.
Moe Lane
PS: No, no bear jokes.
Short version: …Do you want to see a bear eat a lot of cocaine, and then maul people in a horribly humorous fashion? If you do — well, you’re in luck.
Continue reading My mini-review of COCAINE BEAR.I can’t quite believe that the reviewer here is serious, but:
In a just world, those 95 minutes of blood-soaked carnage would be guaranteed to earn [COCAINE BEAR] multiple Oscars, from best screenplay to best director to best film. Alas, the lack of teachable moments probably means that won’t happen, but it matters not. For what matters is that in 2023, we have a movie that hearkens back to earlier times, back when Hollywood sought not to make us better people, but to distract us for a while, to invite us to imagine possibilities like “what if a bear got hooked on cocaine?”
…I am still on to go see this flick with my eldest kid this weekend. We were supposed to go last Sunday, but I had a bout of mild food poisoning. Clearly, I will need to fast all of Saturday, just to be on the safe side.
…I was happy! And I was sore afraid. I was sore afraid that they would not find it within themselves to make the COCAINE BEAR movie of my dreams. I didn’t know what I wanted, but I knew I would be able to tell you if they got it wrong.
My friends. If this trailer is any indication, they did not get it wrong.
This is going to be so good… and so dumb… and then so good, again.
